Hooks and wings: Bringing down walls
by CuteMcBeauty
Summary: A series of one-shots (might or might not be sequential) based on moments where Killian and Emma truly open up to each other and share painful, beautiful and important stories of their past. Rated T for possible foul language, might change rates, possible explicit sex. Captain Swan.
1. Twin sister

It had been at least three hundred years since Killian had last shared breathing space with a woman so intriguing, so unique, so wonderful, it made him lose himself entirely in her. Only this time, his infatuation was probably far worse than with any woman ever before. Maybe 'worse' was not the appropriate term, actually. Being in love again was a wonderful feeling! His stomach fluttered every time she was even fifty feet away and he was unable to control the bashful reddening of his cheeks when she smiled his way. And what could be said now? Emma Swan was finally his… HIS! Well, not technically "his" his, but… his. And that alone was enough to reach into that world that had been kept locked deep, deep down; that vault that now slowly came back into the light and threatened to spill all its magic colors, joys, tears, moments…

"Hey… come back…"

Her soft, velvety whisper drew his gaze into hers. A kind grin awaited him as they both lay beneath the willow tree, by the bench at the park, overlooking the lagoon. The sun had started to descend on the horizon and delivered a majestic display of pinks, greens and oranges tht reflected on the water like the northern lights.

"Hmm?"

"How many leagues away from me are you right now, Captain?" she smiled as she nuzzled into his embrace.

Who would have thought this was going to be so damn comfortable? Had she only known they wouldn't have wasted so much time.

Killian sighed and gave her a gentle squeeze. "Sorry, Swan. I was just reminiscing something... from long ago."

"How long ago?"

"Quite long ago. You know…" He grinned. "There was a similar lagoon near my home, when I was a lad…"

Emma sat up and looked at him with a bemused grin. "You've never talked about your childhood before…"

"Aye…" He grinned. "And you of all people should clearly understand why, love."

Emma nodded. "Painful…"

"Very. But…" He huffed smiling. "It wasn't always so bad…"

The blonde dislodged herself from his embrace and sat cross-legged before him, holding his one good hand with both of hers. "I'd like to hear one of those nice stories, Killian… I can sort of picture you, little boy, big blue eyes, black hair, running around with your brother."

Killian chuckled. "At times, yes. We had a farm."

Emma furrowed her brow. "You... were a farmer?"

"Aye. Or a farmer's son. My father had dreams of one day becoming a sailor or a merchant marine. Never worked for him quite that way. In the end, he just inherited his father's farm and we all lived there. Liam was a woodcarver's apprentice..." He shrugged. "My father was... well..."

"Tell me a story, Killian." Emma grinned warmly. "A nice one."

Killian raised his hook and mussed her hair behind her ear, delighted to see she didn't even flinch at having the sharp, curved object so near her face. "Well, sometimes good and bad memories are entwined, darling… I can't share the good if I don't also share the bad."

Emma's smile disappeared into a very embarrassed frown. "Yeah, of course, I'm sorry… I don't mean to… I …"

He giggled. "Don't sweat it, Swan. I'll always tell you everything you want to know about me. I can't keep a secret from you, we've both seen what that can do."

She recovered her grin and sighed. "Ok…."

He looked into the lagoon and a grin, an adorable, beautiful, nostalgic grin rose on his lips the likes Emma had never before seen on him.

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"_And now, foul ogre, I will vanquish thee!"_

_Clack, clack, crashed the two wooden swords. _

"_Oh who shall be the one brave knight to rescue me?" Wailed the fair little girl._

"_Tis I, fair Moirin! Prince Killian, come to rescue thee!"_

_The older boy played along with his younger siblings. "Gragh! I shall rip thee from limb to limb, prince Killian!"_

"_You beast! You shall not!" And the little boy turned a pirouette that astounded even his older brother._

"_Wait, wait, wait there, son!" Liam laughed and stopped his seven-year-old brother, who smiled at him intently. "Quite good form! Where did you learn that particular maneuver?"_

_Killian looked at Liam in the eye, his own glistening with the magic of childhood. "The smithie in town taught me, brother!" he replied enthusiastically. "Said I had a flair, would you agree?"_

"_I would indeed." Liam chuckled._

"_Oooiiii! Who will rescue me now!?"_

_Moirin's squeak brought another grin to Liam's face. "Never mind, dear princess!" he laughed. "We should be thinking about dinner, papa will be back soon, and you know how he gets if his dinner's not done." _

_At fifteen, Liam was pretty much the biggest caretaker of his younger brother Killian and his little twin sister, Moirin. Liam had been born unto a different mother who had died of plague, while the little twins had still seen some of their mother before she left them all. That particular incident had caused their father, Seamus, to spiral down into a haze of alcohol and woe._

_The Jones' were no strangers to abandonment. They were practically alone every day and while Liam had lost his mother to death, the little twins still wondered when mama would come home. But the bond between the three was practically unbreakable... even when their father came home drunk from the local bar._

_His favorite victim had always been Killian. For two reasons: One, he looked most like his mother. Second, because he was the least submissive and had a rebellious streak all his own, something that desperately needed to be snuffed out. More than once, Liam had stood up for his little brother for as long as he could, but in the end, it only made Seamus Jones' anger worse… and the three children would pay for Killian's defiance. So Killian, the natural born little valiant on a constant hero's journey, would take his father's beatings._

_Not this once, however… this once they were right on time to have the old man's dinner prepared, his bath drawn and his bed at the ready._

_It was later in the evening that he rose, inexplicably, and reached for his belt, made his way to Killian's bunk and dragged him out to the barn for a harsh buckle-pounding… for no particular reason; Or maybe just because the boy had his mother's summer sky blue eyes._

_The following morning, the man was gone to the pub once more… earlier than usual. Liam rose and looked for his siblings. Moirin slept soundly on her bunk above Killian's…. but Killian was not there. _

_He ran to see if his little brother had perhaps gotten up early; he seemed to have a bit of a habit of doing so. And indeed, he found the boy, crouching by the water of the pond, playing with a wooden boat his papa had carved for him before he'd gone bad._

_Liam smiled. "Brother!" he huffed as he approached. "you scared me half to death! Why didn't you wake me up to fix breakf…" When the boy turned his teary eyes to Liam, the older boy gasped in horror at the vision of his beautiful brother's bloody face. He ran to him and slid to the dusty ground, shaking Killian by the shoulders. "Oh, bloody hell… Killian, was it 'im again?"_

_Killian merely nodded._

"_But why?"_

_The child shrugged. _

_Liam nodded. "Enough is enough. Come now. Let's go back indoors and get our sister ready, brother. We're leaving."_

_Killian pinched his black eyebrows. "Where will we go, Liam? We have no food, no gold, your only trade is wood carving… what will become of us?"_

_Liam closed his eyes. "I know not, brother… but papa will never hurt you again. I will take care of you, Killian; you and Moirin." Killian hugged his brother hard and wept as Liam rubbed his unruly black mop of hair. "I promise you."_

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"So there's a third Jones'!" Emma smiled. "I didn't know you had a twin sister!"

"Moirin, yes… such a little spitfire, that one." He chuckled. "Looked nothing like me; she was a ravishing little lass, ginger hair, big blue eyes... and a smile that could stop all ships in port."

Emma rubbed his arm. "Is she still in the forest? Was she not swept by the curse?"

Killian side grinned and shook his head. "No, Swan. The curse can do many things, except raise the dead."

The Savior heaved and shook her head. "I'm sorry…" She looked back to him and found a shockingly peaceful demeanor on his face. "You miss her?"

"Aye. Every day. She passed not long after the day I got beaten by my father…"

Emma touched Killian's right cheek, running her finger down the scar on the right side of his nose.

"Is that how…?"

"Aye." He touched it gingerly, as if the wound were still fresh… in many ways it still was. "To this day I do not know what prompted that particular beating. The man was evil… just off his head. He blamed me for my mother's departure. Not to mention I have my mother's looks. He couldn't handle that. So..." he shrugged and tried to smile, much like he had smiled at her when confessing how he had traded his ship for her; a smile devoid of joy. ""It could be said I was his scapegoat."

Emma bit her lower lip, her brows an inverted 'v'. "Oh, Killian…"

"It's in the past, love." He touched her nose with his finger. "Can't hurt me any more."

"We both know that's a lie, Hook…"

They exchanged a knowing silence, their eyes locked in each other's knowing gaze. Those two really did understand each other on a very deep level.

"I suppose the trick is in remembering it as a spectator." She added. "Try not to involve yourself, try not to say, 'that little boy is me'… You know what I mean?"

Killian nodded with a grin. "You're an angel, Swan." He looked down at his hand as she locked her fingers between his. "I hadn't spoken to anyone other than Liam about this. Not even Milah knew…"

She leaned back into his chest. "I appreciate the trust, Killian. I really do."

There was a short silence; they both used the moment to simply breathe each other's company while a bird sang to the setting sun. There was now but a thin line of golden sunlight reflected on the water.

"Wait…" Emma muttered suddenly. "Something doesn't add up; I thought your father had left you…"

Killian sighed. "That he did. Running from the King's soldiers. About a day after he…" He caught his breath and pressed his lisps hard, closing his eyes, probably to stop tears.

Emma looked at him intently. "After he what, baby?"

Killian once again huffed a heavy sigh as he looked out into the water, unable to contain a single tear from running down his cheek.

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_"What do you mean the stables are not clean, lad?" Seamus hollered at Killian. "Are you really that bloody useless, boy?"_

_Killian shriveled in a corner. "I took Moirin to the doctor's, papa! She's got a fever, she's so sick! Please!"_

_Seamus took a cane and whacked him twice over the shoulder. "I don't care about excuses, you useless bilge rat! You're no good, you were no good when you were born and you're still no good now!" He raised his cane again while Killian cowered, his little bleeding hands over his head as he screamed in fear, and delivered one thud per word. "Worthless, stupid, pathetic..."_

_Liam ran in and stopped the cane before it fell on Killian's head once more. "STOP, YOU BASTARD!" he gave his drunken father a shove. "You'll kill him!"_

_Seamus staggered back and returned his face to his eldest son. "Well, well… Look who's finally become a man!" He picked up the cane once more and turned to Liam. "Let's see how well you can hold the title, boy…" He began to club Liam; the still gangly teenager was able to fend off a few of the blows but soon after, he was on the floor. Killian shouted from the corner, "Papa, please! Stop! Please, don't! Please, leave him!"_

_The shouting only seemed to feed the wrath of the drunken Jones as he beat the teenager unconscious. Killian sobbed, standing at the corner. "You killed him!"_

_"Nay, lad, he's just not man enough to remain on his feet." He turned to the boy. "And you… I'm not done with you; I'll teach you to be a man, boy, if it's the last thing I ever do…"_

_Killian shook and quivered in his place as his father staggered back and forth, delivering a final kick to Liam's ribs before turning to him again, cane in hand… only to be stopped by the pain of an arrow behind his shoulder. Howling in pain, he turned to find little Moirin, looking feverish and drawn, holding a crossbow._

_"That's enough, papa!" She shouted, stern looking._

_In spite of his pain and anger, Seamus managed to laugh. "And it turns out the wee lass is twice the man that both my sons ever will be!"_

_She approached, droplets on her forehead from the dreadful fever that had befallen on her. "Papa… leave Killian alone. He's done nothing to you. He's little, he can't fight back."_

_Killian looked on from the corner, still shaking, and completely unaware that he had wet himself, yet another trigger for his father's wrath._

_"Well, that's not a problem for you, lassie!" Seamus ripped the arrow out. "Perhaps I should send YOU to the Ogre wars and these two pathetic boys should do the weaving and washing…." He approached the girl and effortlessly ripped the crossbow from her tiny hands. "Still, no wee female will ever… EVER be tellin' me what I should do." He picked the girl up by the neck and hung her in the air. As the young child gasped for air, Killian shouted. "Papa, DON'T! DON'T! PLEASE!"_

_All it took was one shake of the hand._

_Seamus threw the little girl into a heap of straw. "Now go back to your bed, you miserable little rat, or you'll be gettin' me belt next…"_

_The child didn't move._

_The drunken man staggered in place, looking at her limp little body on the heap of hay. "M… Moirin?"_

_Killian stared, his lower lip quivering, eyes wide as dinner plates as they shone with tears, as the man approached the child, trembling. He turned her little face to him, and two little blue eyes stared blankly past his shoulder. "Oh… no…" He whispered. "Lass… lassie… wake up!"_

_Moirin had a broken neck; no magic, however powerful, would be able to restore that. The child was dead._

_Liam had regained consciousness and stood beside his little brother, with tears of shock and horror in his own eyes. "What did you do, papa? WHAT DID YOU DO?" He shouted._

_Seamus turned, eyes glazed and panicked from the outcome of his deeds. "Lads… lads, help your papa… help your papa, take her to the lagoon." He begged, his hands shaking as he paced to his sons. "She… she can't be found… I'll hang! They'll hang your papa in the main square, m'boys! Please! Liam, Killian, help me take your sister to the lagoon…"_

_Liam pushed him and he fell to the floor, turning to run out the stable. Killian stood still, still as a statue, his shocked gaze still fixed on his dead sister. The whole world sounded like a numb hum, thousands of miles away, as if he had been submerged under water._

_Seamus found no help that night; Killian was paralyzed and Liam was gone. He wrapped the girl's body in a cloth as best he could and dumped it in the lagoon. It wasn't until he heard the distant sound of cavalry approaching that he figured out Liam had gone to tell the authorities what had transpired. He took his son, who was silent as a rock, and dragged him through the streets of his village, stopping at a port, where he anxiously caressed the boy's head, repeating over and over how they would travel the realms, just the two of them, to never return… they'd mend things, they'd be father and son and find a place where nobody knew them… Killian heard him from a mile away… But his mind was still with Moirin; she'd given her life to defend him. She was dead because of him._

K_illian slept at an inn where Seamus had left him and three days later, Liam and the King's cavalry found the child under a bridge, cold and ill… but alive._

_Seamus Jones was never seen again._

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Emma found it hard to hold back the tears as Killian continued to stare out into the pond. "It took me three years to start talking again." He chuckled. "Three years. Quite a record for a mouthy, sassy pirate, eh, Swan?" he smirked. But Emma did not smile back.

"That's not funny…" she looked into his eyes.

He looked back at her and swallowed hard as averted his gaze to the water. "Aye well…"

"Killian…" she placed her hand on his chest. "This is big… You shouldn't just brush it off like this."

He said nothing.

"Killian?"

She was surprised to see him, breaking down suddenly, a heaving, weeping man, a grown man, crying for the little boy who had remained silent for three years. "She died for me Emma! She… I didn't even fight! I just… stood there! He killed her and I did nothing!" He sniffed hard before breaking down again. "I'm a coward, a coward adorned with big words, a hook and a blade, Swan, bloody hell…"

Emma instinctively held him to her and caressed his hair. "No, no you're not. You were a little boy, Killian, there was nothing you could have done. What happened to you then does NOT define what you are now, Killian, look at me!" she pulled his face up and looked into his eyes; the expression, the sheer pain and loss on his face was completely new to Emma. There was no trace of the saucy king of innuendos for the time being… this man she loved was hurting and finally letting go of all that hurt. She was both delighted and heartbroken to be the one to help ease his long contained pain. She smiled at him. "You're a hero to me…"

He blinked tears and grinned as he sniffed. "I hate that you have to see me like this…"

"I don't." she kissed his forehead. "Means you trust me. Hell, you cleaned tears from my face, remember?" she grinned and repeated his action with her thumb on his cheeks.

Killian grinned. "And I'd be only too glad to do it again when needed… Just…" He sniffed and sat up straight. "Please… tell no one."

She wrinkled her nose. "What happens between us stays between us. I promise."

Killian smiled and looked at the lagoon.

Emma sighed and leaned against his chest. "Thanks for sharing…"

"What, Swan? Such a nefarious story?"

"It wasn't all nefarious!" she smiled. "There was that bit about the sword-fight… saving the princess from the Ogre…"

Killian chuckled and after a brief pause, he suddenly stood. "Come on, Swan…"

"Oh, noooo…" she whined as she grabbed his hand, helping her stand. "Whyyy?"

"Because…" He said as he browsed around for two large branches. "You're the savior and you are not exactly the best swordfighter. One never knows… Come on. Just like Lake Nostos."

"What? If I recall correctly I was the one to knock you out there, Captain…"

Killian turned to her with a smirk. "Did you really think you could beat a 300 year old bladesman after you had picked up your sword for the very first time, Emma?"

She narrowed her eyes. "You didn't…" He smirked at her. "You… let me win?" she gasped in mock horror and found her own thick branch, turning to him for combat. "Bad form!"

"Quite the contrary, my love!" He giggled. "Cora wanted me to finish you off and quite frankly, I thought you were too beautiful and too special to do it. So I saved your life, there, by playing possum…"

"Oh, my hero…" she mocked as Killian grabbed a long stick. "Go on, pirate, defend yourself."

"As you wish, milady…"

And they duelled, much like Killian and Liam had so many years ago, by the pond near their home, over the life of Princess Moirin Jones.

The following morning, just at the crack of dawn, a leather-cloaked figure paced by the edge of that same lagoon; he was holding a crown of white lilies, which he gently deposited on the surface of the water. As the crown drifted inwards into the deep end of the lagoon, Killian smiled and sighed. "I never said it… but I owe you one, fair princess Moirin. Thank you, love…." He blew a kiss in the random direction of the water, and returned home to Emma's bedside.

The savior stirred after he shed his clothes once more and pressed herself into his chest as he spooned her. "Where were you?" She moaned softly, still groggy.

"Just… visited a fair maid at the lagoon."

"Flowers?"

"Aye…"

"Good. Go back to sleep…"

And he slept like a child… because even as a child, he had never had the chance to sleep so soundly.

This was home.


	2. Good & Bad Form

Good and bad form.

"God, what the hell…" David whined as he pranced around the loft, one foot bare and the other clad in his favorite sock. "Snow!"

"Yeah?" Came Snow's voice from the room as she breastfed their infant boy Neal.

"Have you seen my other sock? The ones with little red and white marks?"

Snow sighed. "Have you checked the washer?"

"Dammit…" He mustered under his breath as he headed towards the wash area. Just as he passed the open kitchen, he stubbed his pinky toe on the edge of the counter. "OWWW, shit!"

"Charming! Language!" Snow piped from above.

David raised his eyes in the general direction of his wife and grumbled under his breath. "Yeah, you can talk…"

"I heard that!"

As he rubbed his toe, he peeked into the tumble dryer and found the solitary missing sock sitting at the very bottom. "Aha… there you are…"

Snow finally joined him, walking down the stairs as she burped the still tiny Neal, a grin on her face. "You have to relax, Charming; it's only breakfast!"

"I am relaxed! I am the epitome of relaxation. I just don't enjoy hitting my toes against corners, that's all…" he turned around and pancaked his face against a cabinet. "ARGH!"

Snow had to stifle a giggle. "Okee dokee, I'll just… be over here… you know… staring into space…" she walked away, still trying not to laugh.

As she sat down on the couch by the window, David leaned against the wooden post and sighed. "Okay, you're right, I'm not relaxed…"

"Yeah…"

He sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Snow… do you think this is the right thing to do?"

Snow turned a chirpy smirk to her husband. "What does your gut tell you?"

David shook his head. "My gut says 'yes, he's cool', my heart says 'what the hell, he saved your life and your future marriage' and my brain says 'dude, he was a pirate once'…." He shrugged. "I have more voices in my head than I can account for…"

"Perhaps you can talk to Hopper about those…" she joked.

He huffed. "I suppose you think that was funny…"

"It was. You're just in a foul mood, David. Look…." She stood up and walked to her husband, simultaneously rocking the little boy to sleep. "You and I were gipped, I know that. We didn't get a chance to see Emma as a little girl, see her grow, experience heartbreak and love, we missed it. But she's here now. And she's in love with someone who's willing to die for her., isn't that what we always wanted? True…" She shrugged and raised a corner of her lips in a partial sneer. "He's not the Prince we had always hoped for, and he IS a little rough around the edges, but then Emma's not a very Princessy woman, either. He did take her to her first royal ball…" She grinned. "…and I have to say, he's kind of… grown on me, the damn pirate."

David sighed and nodded. "I know, I just…" He looked at his wife. "I guess it's not so much about who HE is. It's who SHE is." He grinned. "I have to say I feel a little jealous that he had the privilege of her first ball dance. It should have been me." He shrugged. "I guess it doesn't matter who it is, it's the fact that I know what he's after and… well, I haven't REALLY been a father enough and we're already letting her go."

Snow sighed and leaned up to kiss him gently. "She will ALWAYS be our little girl, David. But let's be honest: She's a woman. And even now, ever since she decided to stay here in Storybrooke, she's been every single thing I could have hoped for my daughter. Let's not focus on what we lost… but what we gained."

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Killian fidgeted nervously with the box in his hand. His pirate side was on a roll: _'Just give the ring to Swan and leave this protocol rubbish aside, mate. You're captain Hook! You take what you want and that's what you do!'… 'No, Killian, you do the right bloody thing and do right by her, talk to her father, in good form…'_

The handsome Captain ran a hand down his face and huffed. "Bloody hell…" He mustered under his breath. "Why is this so bloody difficult?"

The jingling sound of the bells as the door at Granny's opened made him turn; even though he knew he'd probably be sick any second, he managed to sit straight and wave David over with a nod. The tall, blond Prince nodded back and joined Killian at the table. "Hey, pirate…"

"Morning, mate."

"You ordered yet?"

"No… Just coffee."

"Are you eating something? I'll feel like a barn pig if I eat by myself…"

Killian grinned and huffed. "Well, we don't want to make his highness uncomfortable now, do we?"

David laughed. "Stop kissing up to me, Hook…"

"Wouldn't dream of it… Charming."

"Why the hell do you call me that?"

"Why the hell do you call me Hook?"

"I've always called you that!"

"And everyone's always called you 'Charming', mate, I fail to see the problem." Killian smirked.

"My name is David." The prince grinned back in equal challenge.

"And my name is Killian."

David stared straight into Killian's eyes. "I thought you loved being Hook."

Killian nodded and sighed, looking down at the little box. "Aye, I do, just… not right now, mate."

Ruby smiled her way to her friends, notepad in hand. "Good morning, gentlemen! There's a two-for-one special today, if you care to hear about it…"

"Thanks, Ruby." David grinned at her. "What have you got'?"

"Blueberry Pancakes with a side of cream and extra bacon, or hazelnut Waffles and scrambled eggs with honeysuckle ham."

"Pancakes, please." Both men chipped, before returning to each other with odd scorns.

Ruby giggled. "Ok, two pancake orders, coming right up."

The two men were left alone, sharing an uncomfortable silence which David finally broke. "Well… _Killiannnn_… You were the one who called for this meeting, so… Get on with it, what's on your mind?"

Killian sighed and nodded. "Right. Right you are, David." He gulped and felt himself sweat through his temples. "Ok, mate, here's the thing…" He looked up into David's eyes. "When I was younger…"

"That's a long time ago, buddy…"

Killian huffed. "Look, can you just…?"

"Ok, ok, I'm sorry…" David laughed. "Go on…"

"When I was younger, my brother taught me something that sort of became a life code for me. He said, 'Killian, good form is always, always the best way to go. Never yield to bad form. There are rules to everything in life, and one of those is to always take the path of a gentleman, be you a merchant, a thief, a sailor, a king or…" he chuckled. ".. a pirate.', So…"

"Sounds like he had a good head on his shoulders, that man." David nodded.

Killian leaned back on his seat, nodding as his eyes filled with nostalgia. "Aye… that he did. More than I could ever hope to have."

David grinned and leaned forward on the table. "I'm intrigued, Captain. What made you turn to piracy?"

Killian shrugged. "His death." He replied swiftly. "He was my only guidance. I was merely 18 when I was Lieutenant under him. Liam was… my Captain, my hero and… my only family." He raised his eyes to David's and the prince managed to see something more in his stare, sadness and a pride he had never before seen in Captain Hook. "I was the youngest man to ever reach that rank in the history of that kingdom. Liam passed away a year after I made the grade. By 19, I was both a Captain and a Pirate." He chuckled sadly. "It all happened the very same day. When we were returning from Neverland, his intent was not to turn into piracy, but to declare what the King's intentions were, to use Dreamshade as a biological weapon against our foe. Bad form, that."

David nodded. "Yeah… Dreamshade."

"Indeed."

"So what happened?"

Killian hadn't ever talked about the horrible day when Liam had succumbed to the poison in the captain's quarters of the Jewel of the Realm. But he also knew that if he was to win David Nolan over completely, he had to play his best card, one he hadn't played in ages: Honesty.

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, avoiding all eye contact with the prince as he narrated his tale.

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_Killian held his dead brother in his arms as the crew medic, Adrian Coffey, tried in vain to resurrect the Captain. Even after his heart had stopped beating, the poison continued to blacken his skin. Half of his face was swollen and tainted black a mere minute after he was gone._

"_Oh brother…" Killian sniffed. "Brother…."_

"_I'm so sorry, Sir…" Coffey shook his head. "I've never before seen the likes of this malady. What happened?"_

_Killian wept as he held his brother and spoke back, his voice broken. "The king… he's a… A liar and a deceiver…" he hid his face in his brother's hair, sobbing. "He told us it was a medicinal plant… a magical plant the likes of which had never been seen before…. But it was folly." He looked at Coffey and spoke through tears and gritted teeth. "It was poison. And Liam… the captain, he… he injured himself with it and… now… now…" He held Liam's body hard. "Bloody hell, brother… why?"_

_The young Lieutenant was inconsolable. Coffey found it fit to give the young man a few minutes alone to mourn their captain… his brother._

_It took a whole day before the younger Jones brother finally emerged, disheveled, eyes swollen, looking drawn and dishearted. The sailors immediately rushed into the captain's quarters to retrieve the body of Liam Jones._

_Killian sat on the deck, his hands in his hair and elbows on his knees. He had depleted his quota of tears and had all but gone dry. "Sailor Williams…" He called. _

_Williams stood before him in an instant. "Sir?"_

_Killian raised his face. "I recall I retrieved a flask of rum from you a week earlier, did I not?"_

"_That you did, sir. Tossed it into the ocean…"_

_Killian nodded. "And perhaps you had a spare I knew not of?"_

_Williams swallowed hard. "Sir… I… I…"_

"_Retrieve it and give it to me at once."_

"_But sir… I… "_

"_Will you stand there stammering or will you be obliging your new captain?" Killian snapped back._

_Williams sighed. "Aye aye, sir, I'll fetch it now." _

_It took Williams less than ten seconds to return with the flask in hand. Killian took it and looked sternly into Williams's eyes. "Any more of these, sailor?"_

"_No, sir. Just the one."_

"_In that case…" Killian nodded sadly. "I shall keep this one and repay you for it when we reach port... and Williams?"_

_The confused sailor nodded. "Aye, sir?"_

_Killian sighed and stood up and placed a hand on the man's shoulder. "It shall be your duty to ensure this vessel always has at least three barrels of the beverage onboard at all times, henceforth…"_

"_Sir?"_

_Killian swallowed and looked over his shoulder as the other members of the crew wept for their captain, sewing up the mortuary sack that would become his cocoon during his trip to Davy Jones' Locker. "Aye…" he whispered. "There will be some changes aboard this ship…"_

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David listened intently, suddenly feeling the sadness of the man who sat before him. Killian, on his part, looked subdued but dry-eyed as he spoke again. "So that day, I threw my Uniform into the sea. When we reached shore, I found myself different clothes. I cut my hair, pierced my ear…" He shrugged. "…and when we regrouped, we were pirates… and the ship was renamed from The Jewel of the Realm to The Jolly Roger. The King set a price on my head for high treason, but I was already a hell of a captain. Wars waging against the giants had the kingdoms trading in beans like there was no tomorrow, so I managed to get my hands of a couple dozen and I travelled almost every realm imaginable, to avoid capture…." He shrugged and looked at the table. "…and to try and fill the void. My only remaining family was gone." He shook his head with a sad grin. "But nothing did it for me… no woman, no fair amount of rum, no copious meal or exotic landmark helped… until…"

"Rumple's wife…"

He swallowed hard. "Aye… and we all know how well that went."

David nodded. "And here I thought a pirate's life was carefree and fun and full of swashbuckling adventure."

"That it is…" Killian nodded back with a grin. "But it's also the best form of concealment. There is a lot of woe in piracy. I know not of a single pirate whose anger doesn't stem from a broken heart." He chuckled. "I lost a sister when I was a child… and then my brother… and then Milah…. And I went alone, without love or family for far more years than I care to recall. The there was Bae… Neal. I took him in, damn near adopted him, but he turned on me when he found out about Milah and I… So I meet the lad again and… well, he dies." He raised his eyes to David. "I've lost way too much; too many people. Thus… I have no intention of losing Emma, David. I'll say it like it is: I love her. I love her too bloody much, so much, in fact, I'd quite gladly lay my own life down for hers and Henry's." He sighed and opened the little box before David's eyes.

The prince let out a whistle and ran his hand through his hair. The stone was a large blue circular sapphire surrounded by tiny diamonds. "Where did you get this?"

"Don't recall. There was always quite a fair amount of treasure aboard the Jolly Roger. During the year of the curse, while we were apart, I always dallied with the notion of maybe one day having asked Emma to marry me, and I picked this ring. I always imagined it on her finger and that particular thought alone always dried the tears and filled me with faith. So when that bloody bird finally landed on my ship, I placed this ring in my pocket together with the memory potion." He shrugged. "A man can have hope…"

"I recall a certain pirate telling me that if there was anything to learn form hero types, it's that there is always hope…"

Killian chuckled. "And a pirate told you that? You should know better than to listen to a bloody pirate."

David reached out and grabbed Killian's forearm. "This guy was fated to become a hero… how could I not listen?" Killian smiled, and David touched the ring with his finger. "I'm amazed the Jolly didn't sink under the weight of this thing…"

"If it didn't go asunder from the weight of my heavy heart, nothing will ever sink that old girl…" He sighed and looked at a distant point behind David's shoulder. "…wherever she is."

"You miss her?"

"Sometimes… but never as much as I missed Emma and Henry during that year… or…" He flushed. "…the rest of her pathetic lineage."

Both men smiled and held each other's stare.

"So…"

"So?"

"I would like to… ask you if you'd grant me the honor of having Emma's hand."

"To replace yours?"

Killian sneered. "Bad form, mate!"

David laughed and sighed. "Killian… I'd rather no other man have my daughter become his wife."

Killian's smile was priceless.

"Ahem…"

The prince and the Pirate turned their faces to Ruby, who had their breakfast order on a tray and looked on them with an amused smirk; Killian was still holding out the ring for David to see, and David was still holding Killian's forearm. "Should I give you boys a moment? I can come back…"

Wide-eyed, they began stammering, both men blushing insanely.

"No, no, look, see we…"

"It's not at all what you think!"

"Honest, I was just…"

"Seriously, Ruby?"

The girl laughed and placed the plates before them. "Whatever…" she giggled. "Don't ask, don't tell…."

She walked away enjoying the sight of the flustered "mates".

Killian snapped the box shut and placed it swiftly in his pocket. "I suggest we follow the barwench's advice, we eat, and say nothing…"

David huffed and grabbed his fork. "And I couldn't agree more…"

Killian gave him a cynical stare. "See? I knew we were getting along!"

"Shut up."


	3. Dreamshade Poisoning

He had seen that damn dart a mile away. He was no stranger to the maneuvering ways of the lost boys' weaponry. Those blasted kids were demons, at best, but he had to hand it to Pan: he was one hell of a leader and had trained them well. This was one motley crew of adept, skilled, naughty little boys who packed a serious punch.

He, Captain Hook, knew a thing or two about training a crew of men. And for a few evenings since arriving in Neverland, he had actually worked with Emma to get her to improve her fencing. But darts were bad form, the worst form, the most villainous and lowest form. There was no honor in dipping a dart in poison and killing your adversary without a decent and fair fight. And while the evening when they had found Pan's lair had been the perfect opportunity to allow Emma to put her newly acquired skill to use, the cheating lost boys had poisoned darts. Dirty bleeders… And the moment he saw that blasted infant take the hollowed pipe to his lips and aim at Emma, Killian hadn't even thought twice of it: He jumped and took the dart for her. Right on his good shoulder.

He was dying. He knew that well enough.

There was another thing he knew well: He was madly in love with the blonde Savior, the princess and heir to the throne of the Enchanted Forest. Madly, head over heels, swear on her name and hope die for her, in love.

Mah. Just as well that he'd be dead soon: He didn't stand a chance with her, anyway, not with her overprotective father who kept reminding him what a lowlife he was; not with Snow White, that while not outwardly rude, stared at him like he was a dung beetle. And, not with Emma herself, who in spite of being such a kindred spirit always kept him at arm's length. He had tried to bond with her; his reward had been her blunt words stating that she was not interested in bonding with him at all. She couldn't have been clearer if she had drawn it for him on a piece of paper.

Princesses don't cohort with filthy pirates.

No matter; he'd gladly take a million darts for her, all the same. Blast this bloody, horrid thing called love.

Oddly enough, the thought that worried him most was not so much the idea of dying an agonizingly slow and painful death, but rather the notion that he was hindering them from their quest for Emma's young boy. The longer they took, the quicker the lad would finish the spiritual transition to being a lost boy.

But Emma had seen him take the dart for her and would not simply leave him to die alone. He had given his life for her and no one she knew of (aside from her parents) had ever done such a thing; She hadn't thought she'd be worth saving to anyone.

Damn stupid pirate, why did you have to be so goddamned brave? So gallant? So friggin' cute, to boot?

They, she knew, were far more connected than she had wanted to admit, and seeing him die, seeing that that connection would soon be severed, hurt her far deeper than she cared to acknowledge.

"Bloody hell, it hurts…" he shivered as she placed the wet rag over his forehead. Fever had set in and his whole left arm looked like a blackened road map, with every vein darkening under the effect of the poisonous sap. She and her father had managed to remove his perennial leather trench coat and vest, and he lay wearing only his shirt and trousers, now unable to walk.

"Shh, it's ok…" she whispered, trying to clean away the sweat droplets over his eyebrows.

Killian opened his eyes. "Hook, there must be something we can…"

"I already t…told you, lass." He spoke with a sad grin, still shivering. "There is no plausible salvation; Regina was right."

"About what?" she replied softly.

"V… villains. We don't get happy endings."

Emma closed her eyes and shook her head. "There has to be a way, I can't just…" she stood up and ran a hand through her hair, pacing in circles. "You won't be another friggin' martyr in my book of self-sacrificing idiots, Killian Jones." She snarled. "I really don't care to carry the weight of your death as well as Neal's. He pushed me out of the way of that vortex and took a bullet. I don't need you to die on me as well, not for me, not because… I…" she kicked a rock and it ricocheted like a pinball score between three trees.

Killian giggled. "I believe you'd not be able to d… do that again if you tried to do it intentionally, Swan…"

That got the desired effect of a grin.

"There…" He smiled fully. Wow. Emma had never seen him smile like that. "That smile of yours… pure sunshine, your h…highness. T… try to smile more often." He grinned and blinked hard at her. "You d… deserve your h… happiness."

She kneeled beside him and pulled his shirt down from the neck. She was horrified to see the lines of his veins now tracing beneath the hair of his chest and creeping upward to his neck. That damn thing would reach his heart within the hour.

In spite of seriously believing she had no interest in him, the sudden realization that she'd soon be minus her trusty, leather-clad shadow with his constant sword suddenly filled her with what she instantly recognized as terror.

And even more terrifying was the realization that she felt that terror at all.

Killian instantly perceived the shift in Emma's stare. She had always been, as he had said, a bit of an open book to him. He grinned and reached to grab her arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's ok, Swan." He smiled, looking into her flustered eyes. "It's g…good to lay your life down for your mates. I've no regrets; I'd take another dart for you any day. B… besides, I have a bit of a bad slate to c…clean up. Many red numbers." He winked. "I like to th…think that this w… will make your beloved father hate me a little less…" He licked his lips and sighed. "Worry not, love. They got your back, you'll not be a…alone, ever. I'll be gone, b…but you never really needed me anyway. You're strong and b…brave, Emma. You can d…do it. I have faith in you."

Emma's hand took life of its own and before she could say anything, she was holding his hand.

Seconds after he had said that, the towering figure of prince Charming stepped behind Emma, shadowing the light of the fire that crackled behind her. "How is he?"

Emma turned up and looked at her father. She stood up and turned her back to Killian, her arms folded and avoiding all eye contact in fear of crying. "He's…. he's got a bad fever, he's in pain, I can't see how this could be any worse." She finally looked into her father's eyes. "He's dying because he took a poisoned dart for me. He can't feel too good."

Charming nodded. "Not to mention that this is the way his brother died."

Emma furrowed her brow. "What? He… had a brother that died like this?"

"Told me recently, when we went looking for rope." David sighed. "His brother was poisoned. Died in his arms." He shook his head. "It was his death that prompted him to turn to piracy…"

_Double the pain_, Emma thought. Not fair for the funny-spirited, loyal pirate. Really NOT fair.

"I refuse to believe that this is it for him; there's gotta be a way." She heaved. "He's… kind of part of the team now, I can't…. he came back for me, for all of us. He could have used the bean, but he came back. God knows he didn't have to."

David nodded and pressed his lips together. "I'm sure there has to be a way. He was here for three hundred years, he's got to know about some form of antidote." He looked at the shivering pirate; he was looking worse every passing minute. "Look, I'll talk to Regina, maybe she can give him some sort of magical remedy for the pain, at least. You try to get it out of him, ok?"

He paced away and Emma once again joined Killian's side.

"Hey." She grinned. "We're going to save you, Hook."

He chuckled. "I'm nothing but a p… pirate, darling. Your father m… made that really quite clear. And he is completely right. I am a p…pirate. I've walked in the darkness far l… longer than I wish to remember. Not worth the effort, love, focus on Henry." He then winced and hissed, grunting in pain as Emma pressed her lips together tight, feeling his agony in her heart. It worsened when he turned and smiled, wide and beautiful. "Look, L… Liam. This is Emma… Emma Swan. The savior… MY savior. Sh… she's the one you have to th… thank brother."

Emma looked over her shoulder and saw nothing aside from the figures of Mary Margaret talking to Regina in their tent. So this meant Hook was maybe starting to see the dead.

"No… no, Killian?" Placed her hand under his neck and made him look at her. "Keep your eyes on mine, ok? I have to ask you…"

"You're … beautiful, Swan." He reached out and touched her face… and she let him, finally unable to contain the tears that had so precariously clung to the commissures of her eyes. "Like the bloody sunrise o… over the horizon of the sea. Only more beautiful. Brighter, perhaps."

Emma swallowed heard. "Killian, listen to me: You lived here a long, long time. I'm sure you know of a way to stop this poison. You HAVE to tell me, please!" She pleaded. "Whatever it is… We'll see it done. You won't die, you can't!"

"No, Emma." He shook his head. "You see, there is one way I c…can live, but you see, I'm sure of this as I'm sure that my name is Jones: I do not… w…wish to spend an eternity of perfect health in this accursed island…" He gasped in pain before continuing. "For that is the price, my love… Should I… take the only antidote, the o…only way I can live is if I… remain here, forever." He swallowed hard. "And that means I… I'd never see you again, Swan. I'd spend an eternity, yearning for the s…sunrise." He chuckled sadly. "A… and as I told you, love, you are my sunrise… and my dusk, and my evening and morning star. I'm… cursed to follow you to the ends of the earth. My sword and my soul are at your s… service, Swan. So, I'd sooner die; it's better this way." When Emma sniffed back and tears spilled down her cheeks, his smile shone like the full moon over their heads. "It's a worthy sacrifice, Emma. Y…you get to t…take Henry home. He knows how to stir the Jolly's helm, does he n…not? Tis his, Swan. The Jolly Roger. It's for him."

"Stop talking like that! We'll find a way, Killian, don't you dare give up on me. Not you!" she leaned in and caressed the hair away from his forehead. "Please… Tell me what needs to be done. Whatever it is we have to do, we will do it, but you WILL live and you WILL come home with us!"

"Oh he's as stubborn as they come." Came the wretched voice of the evil Pan boy.

Emma turned and pinned him to a tree, dagger to his throat. "You tell me… what I have to do! You tell me what I need to save him and get my son, or I swear I'll slice you like a sushi roll."

Charming drew his sword, Snow pulled back an arrow in her bow and a seemly fireball glowed in Regina's hand.

Pan cackled. "What a sorry, desperate lot you must be… trying to find the remedy to the Pirate's ailment. Alas…" He gently pushed the knife away from his neck. "He is telling you the truth. There is a way, to save his life. Up there…" he pointed up to a notoriously tall cliff. "In Dead Man's Peak, is a spring, the very soul of the Island. Get him to drink from its water. But, he will tell you, as soon as he leaves Neverland, he… will… die." He turned his smirking face to the agonizing man on the floor, who returned the glare with equal intensity. "We know a thing or two about that, don't we Captain? This was pretty much how you obtained your rank, is it not? Was not your brother the true captain of that vessel? He passed, so you inherited the title." He looked back at Emma. "He's a rather pathetic figure now, isn't he? Fairly dramatic: The pirate gone hero to save the life of the woman he loves, because, Emma…." He winked at her and she cringed. "…you may have noticed he has more than just a bit of a crush, right? Fever has weakened the restraints of his tongue quite a bit."

He started walking away. "I'll play another game with you lot: let me keep Henry, and I will give you the antidote that WILL allow you to fully heal the Captain."

Hook's head rose up and he propped himself weakly on his elbows. "What?"

"Yes, Killian." Pan hissed at him. "I have an antidote. Have had for more than a couple hundred years. I had it when your… darling brother decided to challenge my knowledge of this island's botanical properties. Had he drunk this… he would have lived his full life, away from Neverland."

Killian swallowed and spoke through gritted teeth. "My… b…brother died… and he didn't have to…"

"Indeed."

Hook was too weak to pierce Pan's heart with his blade, but he truly felt the desire for revenge once again stir his liver and bring the taste of bile to his lips.

"So Emma…" pan smiled once again. "Your son… or the man who gave his life for you? And whom we both know… is much more to you than just a snarky one-handed Pirate?"

And whoosh, he was gone.

Regina stood and walked to the Savior. "Well that's an easy choice to make."

"I… agree with the Queen." Killian nodded from his deathbed.

Snow stepped between them. "NO ONE is dying today. We're still to find Rumple. Six of us arrived in Neverland and six of us plus Henry will return back home to Storybrooke."

Regina shook her head. "Are you seriously saying we consider taking Pan's offer?"

Emma huffed hard. "We're taking Henry… and we're saving Hook."

David stepped in the circle. "What do you suggest?"

"Going up there." Emma nodded determinedly. "Getting the water from the spring and healing him. That will buy us the time to fight back and get the antidote, whether it's according to Pan's rules or not. And we also get Henry."

"Take no prisoners." Regina grinned. "Finally some backbone, Miss Swan."

Emma shook her head. "We're taking all the children, Regina. That's not up for discussion."

"And Pan?" Snow sneered.

"We'll do whatever it takes." Emma shrugged. She turned her face to Snow. "Take care of him, Mary Margaret. Regina? Try to use some magic to delay the effect of the poison and relieve his pain and…"

"wait one second!" regina laughed. "You're saying I get to stay here and play Florence Nightingale for Mr. One-Hand?" She chuckled. "Why the hell should I?"

Emma paced forward and stood an inch away from Regina's nose. "Because, Regina, unlike what you said to him… he WILL get a second chance. You're sure as hell getting yours right now, why should we deprive him of his?" He sighed and pressed her lips together. "He saved my life. If it had been you, you'd be in debt as well. Besides, he's the only one among us who knows this island like the back of his hand. We need him to guide us. Five heads are better than four and we need all the help we can get to find our son."

Regina closed her eyes and huffed. "Fine. I'll try to delay the effects as much as possible."

Snow smiled at Regina. "That is the right thing to do."

David turned to Emma and silently agreed with a nod before turning around to collect rope for the climb up the hill. Emma returned to the pirate. "So there." She smiled. "You see? You get to… Hook?"

The man's face was half black… and he lay there, eyes closed, and not moving.

"Oh, no… no, no, no, NO!" Emma went down on her knees and took his head on her lap. "Killian, you DON'T get to slip away just like that, you hear me? You don't!" She leaned her ear to his nose and managed to catch a rugged breath. David turned to her. "Is he..?"

"He's barely breathing! Regina!" Emma shouted.

The Queen went down on her knees and nodded. "I can only delay this for as little as maybe a couple of hours. He's on his very last legs. If you two don't come back before then, there's nothing else for me to do…" she ran an open hand over the blackened skin of the captain and the dark marks receded. His breathing improved slightly and his eyes fluttered halfway open. "Swan…" he whispered weakly before closing them again and falling unconscious.

"It's better if he's asleep." Regina nodded, standing up and dusting her hands. "The effect of the poison will be a little slower." She turned to Emma. "Now go, retrieve the water and get back here." She smirked. "We're going to kick some lost boy ass."

Emma nodded and turned to Killian, who now seemed to be sleeping a feverish but peaceful slumber. Not caring about the people around her, she leaned in slowly and pressed her lips to his sweaty forehead. "Please don't leave me…" She whispered barely loud enough for it to sound almost like a prayer.

She stood and turned a stern look at a stunned and shocked looking David. "Let's go, Emma. Looks like a long climb."

As they walked through the thick, brushy jungle, David sighed and cleared his throat repeatedly.

"Come on, spit it out…" Emma smirked.

"Spit what out?"

"Whatever it is you have lodged on the tip of your tongue, come on."

David huffed and hesitated before talking. "Ok… so… do you and Hook have something going, there?"

Emma grinned. "You were just dying to get that out of your system, weren't you?"

"Do you?"

"No. Not that I know of…" Emma gulped. "Or maybe, eventually, or maybe not, I don't know. Why?"

He chuckled as he batted away a stubborn leaf larger than his head. "You seemed a little too touchy-feely back there." He shrugged. "Don't get me wrong, I mean, the guy did take a poisoned dart for you, and for that I'll forever be in his debt, but…"

"Hmm…" Emma grinned, swatting away a random bug that flew into her face. "It's the pirate thing…"

"Neal just passed away." David blurted out. He felt Emma stop cold and he turned, blushing insanely. "Oh my god, Emma, I'm so sorry…. I wasn't thinking…"

Emma sighed and looked up. "You know…" She swallowed with a grin. "The last thing I ever said to Neal before he fell, was 'I love you'… but…" She bit her lip. "You want to know the truth?"

"If you wish to share…"

She shook her head and hesitated before talking. "I honest to god have no idea if I really meant it. I mean, yeah, I care for Neal, he did take accountability for Henry and Henry adores him, but… I couldn't trust him. How can I?" She signaled with her eyes for David to keep walking.

The Prince chuckled and continued to open the path before him. . "And I'm guessing that a man who takes a poisoned dart for you deserves your trust…" He sighed. "I can see how that works. It's just that… well, he's kind of… rough around the edges, a bit."

Emma grunted. "Am I any different? I'm really not as princessy as you and Mary Margaret would wish."

"You defend him an awful lot."

"Well, somebody has to! You keep begrudging him all the time… Whatever happened to second chances?"

David stopped again and sighed, turning to nod at Emma. "Fine. As far as I'm concerned, I won't do that again. I was just… just…"

"Being a jealous father…"

"Protecting you, Emma."

She grinned at her father and blinked sadly. "So was he. And he's about to pay for it with his life, so let's just talk about this later, like, way, later, and get that water for him."

"I agree, let's go."

It was a tortuous climb. Emma and David decided it would be faster if only one person did the climbing, filled the canteen and then threw it over for whomever was at the bottom to catch it and run like hell to get the water back to Killian. Emma was a hell of a sprinter and Charming had far more experience living in mountains, so it was agreed that he'd be the one to rappel up the cliff. Steep and dangerous as it was, he reached the top and instantly heard the soft murmur of a spring behind a bushy landscape. "Ah, dammit…" he huffed, seeing he'd have to cut past a massive bush of the same venomous plant that was sucking away the life of his friend. Yes, his friend. Anyone who was brave enough to take a poisoned dart for Emma was an instant yes in his book. As he precariously sliced and slashed through the bush with his sword, avoiding the spluttering of the deadly sap, he pondered on all the things he had said to him before: Cruel, unnecessary things. He suddenly hated himself for all that.

Finally, he cleared enough space to walk through the cave and into the spring. There was indeed something special about that natural fountain: The smell of it was delicate and fresh and he smiled, thinking how this was the solution to Hook's ailment. He filled the canteen and rushed back to the Cliffside, where Emma was pacing anxiously. "Emma!"

"You got it?" She shouted.

"Don't try to catch it! I'll throw it into that bush over there, hang on!" Emma stepped back and allowed her father to throw it into the bush. She leaned into it and felt a sudden thorny prick on her wrist as she collected it. "Argh dammit!"

By the time realization caught up with her, little black lines had started to stem prom the tiny cut.

"Oh… no…" She bit her lip.

Seemed the pirate might have some company in Neverland after all.

"You're ok?" David shouted.

"Ehh… yeah." She shouted back. "I'm off! See you back at the camp." She ran as she pulled the shoelace tied around her wrist to cover the tiny, blackened cut, knowing that within a few hours she too would start feeling the effects of the deadly poison.

"Bit of a rush, are we, Emma?"

Emma stopped cold, closed her eyes and sighed an angry sigh. "If you don't mind, I have things to do."

Pan paced in front of her. "You do realize that even if he drinks from that canteen, he'll never leave, don't you?" He chuckled. "And from what I saw, neither will you…"

She snapped her eyes open at him. "And what's it to you?"

He shrugged. "It's not in my best interest to have you both stick around, Emma. Henry would never grant me his heart that way."

Emma frowned. "His heart? You want his heart?"

"The heart of the truest believer… You see, Emma…" He paced around her. "For every second that passes here, my life, my… youth, so to speak, is waning. But there is one way for me to become, well… immortal."

"Not gonna happen." She snapped back in all seriousness.

"Are you quite sure?" He raised his eyebrows. "Oh, Emma, you are a complicated little lady, you are…" He chuckled. "You have dreamshade in your bloodstream and the man that you seem to desperately try to deny into your heart is… well, minutes from drawing his final breath." He looked as his fingernails smugly as he spoke. "But you could go home… you could all go home, happy, healthy… in one piece."

"Yeah, and die as soon as we reach Storybrooke, nice try, junior."

"Do you think I'd be able to live here without an effective antidote?"

"You're bluffing."

"Am I?" He smiled and suddenly produced a tiny little bottle. "Just to show you I mean business, I'll give you a show." He turned around and reached for a small vine of Dreamshade that peeked from behind a tree. He intentionally pricked his finger and gasped as he turned to Emma, showing her how his finger was slowly blackening. "There, see? I even use my own flesh to show you." He opened the bottle, pulling the cork with his teeth, and dropped a single drop into the cut. Immediately, all the blackness receded. Emma frowned. "And there's a bonus to this antidote, Emma." He smiled. "It never wears off. You'll be immune to dreamshade, forever. You can travel back home safely. Unlike the water." He stood mere inches away from Emma's face. "And I'll throw a bonus treat in it for you: You get to leave aboard the Jolly Roger with your captain, your parents and even the bitter old queen… and, as soon as you all agree, I can do a forgetting spell… you won't remember Henry. You won't miss him. You'll have your captain and he can have you because, well…" He chuckled. "The only one who doesn't seem to admit how bad a crush you have for the chap is … you."

Emma smiled. "And you think I'd willingly leave my son… to you?"

He shrugged. "wouldn't be the first time you give him up…"

Emma chuckled. "Screw you. We're doing this MY way." She shoved him back. "No get the hell out of my way…"

She heard Pan's voice as she picked up the pace and ran to Killian's side. "You should have bargained with me, Savior!"

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Emma reached Killian and practically slid to home, holding his head in her hand and pouring the contents of the canteen into his mouth…. Saving just a little sip for herself. Killian was barely even alive, but Emma felt the weight of the world leave her shoulders when the blackness invading his body quickly receded. He gasped for a sudden large gush of breath, eyes wide and alert. He panted, feeling his body regained strength quicker then ever, and he turned his blue eyes to his savior once more. Only that, instead of a smile, a tragic frown befell on his brow. "Swan, what did you do?" He nearly wept.

"Don't worry…" She grinned, relieved to see he would still be around to pester her for… well, since this was Neverland…. "We get another chance."

"Love, you don't understand, now I'll have to remain in Neverland forever!" He exclaimed, alarmed, as he sat up.

Emma swallowed. "Yeah, well…" She shook her head. "You won't be alone."

He frowned. Regina and Snow frowned. David frowned.

Emma sighed and pulled the lacey shoelaces on her wrist down. The tiny prick now looked the size of a coin.

"Ah, bloody hell, Swan, NO!" Killian stood like bolt lightning. Mary Margaret nearly fell and David held her, aghast at how he could have missed his little girl getting cut with the deadly shrub. Even Regina was stunned into silence.

She shrugged. "Meh… what's a lifetime of listening to your cheap innuendos in exchange for a chance to save my son?" She grinned.

Killian ran his hand through his hair. "The whole point of me taking that dart was precisely so you wouldn't have to! Bleedin' hell, Emma, now we're both stuck here!"

"Emma…" Mary Margaret began to weep.

"Look, we have one more shot." Emma stood up and turned to all of them. "After I cut myself, Pan taunted me with some strange antidote…"

"And you're ready to believe anything that bloody demon tells you?" Killian moaned.

"Look, he cut himself with a shrub and placed a drop of the stuff on his finger… I saw the dreamshade spread and then it cured him, though and through. I think it's legit." She looked at all of them. "I think it's worth a shot. Killian, you and I could take a few canteens of this water with us, keep sipping it until we get home and then share that antidote."

David nodded. "If we can get it."

"What happens if you don't, Emma?" Mary Margaret asked, concerned.

The blonde Savior shrugged. "Then I get to play roommates with Captain Hook for the rest of my life. My eternal life." She grimaced. "That's… encouraging."

Hook grinned and tilted his head sideways, tongue in cheek. "Come now, love, I'd make it worth your eternal while…"

She snapped her face at him. "Wow, you're really back, aren't you?"

"And Henry?" Regina huffed. "We're talking about rearranging your living accommodations to Never-Neverland and my son is still missing."

Emma nodded. "We'll get Henry… and the antidote. And then, we'll… we'll…" she felt herself swoon and lost balance, falling backwards as Killian caught her. He looked up to David, who held the canteen in his hand, and gave him a knowing nod. David nodded back and proceeded to open it.

Emma opened her eyes and saw infinite blue gazing into hers. She grinned. "Those flirty comments don't cut it, pirate." She grinned, speaking softly, as Killian took the canteen with his good hand while cradling Emma's head over his severed limb.

"You know you love them, Swan." He winked and tipped the canteen over her lips. "Go on, love, just one sip, is all it takes…" The water dripped into her mouth and soon enough, she was sitting up before an extremely relieved Killian.

She turned to look at him and grinned. "Wow… that really does hurt…"

Hook returned the glare. "Not as much as it does on this side, when the ones you care for lay dying before your eyes…"

Emma grinned. "I agree…"

Killian pondered on the meaning behind Emma's words and a wry smile was traced on his lips. Flirting didn't last long; Regina started nagging soon enough.

But this time, Emma's grin seemed to encourage the pirate every single time he flirted. Seems that nearly losing him had made her think… it had made them all think.

The Captain was certainly quite a different man now.

They'd get Henry back, for sure…

And, they'd find a way to get back home, alive and free of the toxin.

And, they'd quite possibly share a kiss.

Maybe they'd even find Neal.

And they'd, perhaps, capture Pan's shadow to hoist the merry crew back home onboard the Jolly Roger.

And just maybe… They'd eventually fall in love for one another.

B


	4. The Ugly Duckling

Emma had been sitting at that bench for at least one hour, looking at the children as they all ran around, from swings to slide to rope to tunnel. The cup of coffee had grown cold in her hands as she grinned nostalgically, her mind wandering off into memories of her own. She had once been a child that size, but she had never really been able to enjoy this particular kind of entertainment; at the home where she had spent most of her life after the Swans decided to 'give her back', they only had a large, square patio, a few hula hoops (that all the orphans usually fought for), a few tires and maybe a couple of old balls to kick around. The jump rope she had brought back with her had been stolen and cut into pieces by other jealous housemates; her Raggedy Anne Doll had been practically disemboweled as well.

For the most part, she was a loner.

She looked on as the children played, shoved each other around and laughed as they slid down and ran back up for another go.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Came the gasping sound of Killian, as he sat next to her.

Startled, she turned to him. It was always reassuring to find his kindly grinning face at her side, and she returned the gentle smirk as she allowed herself to fall into his embrace. He chuckled. "I reckon that if you did, I'd be rich within a minute. What's going through that mind of yours, Swan?"

"Hmm…" she sighed, nuzzling into his shoulder. "Just… reminiscing."

"I see. And what particular recollection has placed you in such meditative state, love?"

Emma grinned. "Do you remember telling me about… you and Liam and Moirin, playing by the pond?"

"Aye…"

She sighed. "Well… I was never that lucky."

Killian didn't say anything; it was plain to see that this was one of those wonderful, precious occasions where his best course of action was to simply sit and listen. And it was precious; it wasn't often, even now, that Emma was in the mood to talk about her achy past. So he simply tightened his grip around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. "Why's that, darling?" He whispered.

Emma turned her eyes to the children again and sighed deep.

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_Being an orphan was bad. _

_But being the orphan that had been returned by her adoptive parents was even worse._

_When Emma was a baby, she had been taken home by George and Carolyn Swan. She was a beautiful baby, but after her third birthday, the Swans had finally managed to conceive, something they had originally thought they'd never be able to do. Now, normal people would have grown profoundly fond of their adoptive child, but somehow, the Swans had never quite warmed up to little Emma. They weren't terribly cruel; she was fed, clothed, had toys and a roof over her head. But she hadn't been entirely loved, wither, and proof of that came when, as soon as Carolyn Swan learned that she was carrying, she and her husband immediately contacted the Group Home in Boston, to arrange the return of the child._

_She may have been young… but she never forgot that. It marred her as the unwanted little girl who was 'given back'. _

_The other girls were usually not mean; except for Meredith and her little posse. Yeah, even orphans form posses. _

_And those three were Emma's worst nightmare._

_Since she had been returned to the home, she had been labeled by the others; she was the notoriously beautiful girl with the flowing golden locks that had rapidly been cut off into a bob cut (a standard procedure in State Homes for Orphan Children). The 'unwanted' swan… and for five years, they had been constantly reminding her of it._

"_Hey, ugly duckling!"_

_Emma was eight when the shit hit the fan for the first time._

_She huffed and turned around, walking away from Meredith, Allie and Kate, the three bullies who had been relentless in their harassing habits since she was three._

"_Hey, I'm talking to you, 'Ugly Duckling'!"_

_Emma continued walking but was well aware of the gan's footsteps behind her, when a sudden shove landed her square on the floor. "Are you deaf aside from ugly, you 'ugly duckling'?" Meredith barked. _

_The young blonde girl looked up at her from the floor and stood sheepishly, dusting her hand-me-down trousers. She groaned as she saw a hole on the left leg. "Really?" she moaned. _

_Those were her only jeans._

"_Ooooh, did you hurt yourself… 'ugly duckling'?" Kate teased._

"_The poor little princess put a hole through her pants!" Allie chipped in. "And now she's even uglier than before!"_

"_Shut up!" Emma spat back, dusting herself._

_Meredith cackled. "Oh, well, make us!"_

"_One of these days I might just thump you, Meredith." She moaned, teary eyed._

"_Oh, I am trembling in my boots!" Meredith teased back._

_Emma stopped and turned to her aggressor. "What do you want?"_

_The blue-eyed, dark haired Meredith walked to her and stood an inch from her face. "Your chocolates." She shoved Emma by the shoulders. "And… maybe you can take of your pants and get them stitched by Mrs. Laughley… while you wait in the courtyard."_

"_Screw you."_

_Meredith shoved Emma again. "What did you say?"_

"_I said 'SCREW YOU', Meredith…" she grinned a sarcastic little grin. "Are you deaf aside from ugly?"_

_Meredith huffed through her nose and grabbed Emma by her collar. "I won't say it again… 'ugly duckling'. Your chocolates."_

_A week earlier the home had received a donation from the Hershey Company and all girls had been given a small share of candy bars, a luxurious treat if ever there was one. Meredith had woofed through her share, wanted more… and Swan had always been an easy target._

_But not today._

_She rolled her eyes and pushed Meredith away. "Get lost."_

_She continued to walk away, but Meredith cut her off. Say that again, 'ugly duckling', I DARE you."_

"_I said…" Emma replied, standing on the tips of her toes, facing the older girl who towered over her. "Bite… me… Meredith."_

_The older girl chuckled and turned a disbelieving glare at her friends. "Did you guys hear that? The ugly duckling says to bite her!" the others laughed. "Well, that can be arranged!" Meredith said, and grabbed Emma by the hair, pulling her and sinking her teeth into her shoulder… hard. Emma screamed and turned with a blunt punch to Meredith's eye. _

_Enough was enough._

_Mrs. Pritchett ran from one side of the courtyard to separate the quarreling children. She was stunned to see that Emma, small and thin, had actually managed to grab twelve-year-old Meredith by the hair. _

"_EMMA!" Came Mrs. Pritchett's holler as she pulled the girl away by the waist. "Let her go! Emma, let Meredith go!"_

_An angry and teary-eyed Emma struggled to continue kicking Meredith's butt; the brunette sat on the floor, really laying it on thick with tears rolling down her cheeks. Emma's hand had her hair firmly gripped. "I'm not done with you!" she shouted angrily. "I'm sick of you and your stupid friends and your stupid attitude and…"_

"_EMMA ENOUGH!" The adult woman shouted as Emma finally released her grip on Meredith's hair._

"_She stole my share of chocolates!" Meredith wailed. "She did! I saw them in her crate!"_

"_NO!" Emma wept hysterically. "Those are mine! I was saving them! You liar!"_

"_It's true, Mrs. Pritchett!" Allie cut in. "I saw Emma sneaking out of our corner with Meredith's chocolates!"_

_Kate also cut in. "True! And I saw her eating her own all alone in the bathroom! She's greedy!"_

"_And she's attacking Mere because she asked for them back!" Allie added._

_Emma shook her head, teary and wide-eyed. "No, no, it's not true! Those are mine, Mrs. Pritchett! I swear!"_

"_Oh, Emma." Mrs. Pritchett shook her head. "But they saw you, honey…"_

"_THEY'RE LYING!" She freed herself and once again pounced on Meredith, but she was once again stopped by the older caretaker._

"_Ok, enough!" she shook Emma by the shoulder. "You acting out like this won't spare you your punishment, Emma. You can't be taking people's things and then lashing out at them when they want them back. Now, you will go directly to Mrs. Evans' office for detention." She turned to Meredith. "Do you know where the chocolates are, Meredith?"_

"_Y… yes, Mrs. Pritchett. I can take you…" she sniveled._

_Emma was grounded; three days she went without her late supper, going to bed on an empty stomach. It didn't matter… tears usually quenched the hunger, anyway._

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It didn't shock Killian to see Emma's eyes shining with tears unspilled, but it did make him ache. He cradled her and kissed her golden head. "Well, seems that that was one naughty little girl…"

"It's ridiculous that I should be still whining over a bunch of chocolates at thirty. I'm a grown friggin' woman, for god's sake…" Emma sighed.

Killian breathed into her scalp. "It's not the chocolates, Swan. It's the unfairness and abashment that you were submitted to. Alas…" He shrugged. "You must understand, these girls were not very much unlike you."

"I know that now, Killian… But when you're eight years old and you have a bunch of kids mocking you and calling you an ugly duckling…""What was that about?" Killian frowned. "Why 'ugly duckling', love?"

Emma sighed and told Killian the fairy tale of the Ugly Duckling. The tale of the little unwanted animal who was shunned for its unsightly feathers, and who didn't know himself that he would eventually grow to become a beautiful swan.

"Well, I chuckle at the irony, darling…" Killian grinned. "Turned out to be prophetic, did it not? You are a Swan. A very fine Swan. MY Swan." He tipped her face up with his hook and deposited a gentle little peck on her lips. "And beautiful in every feasible way."

Emma grinned and simply nuzzled up against him. "I know that fate is what it is and that it leads you to where you have to be… but sometimes, I just wish I could… you know, go back. Make things different."

They shared a brief silence, until Killian spoke softly. "Perhaps you can, Emma…"

She giggled. "Don't you be getting any more time portal ideas, Jones…"

"Wouldn't dream of it, my love." He laughed. "I was only thinking it would be a rather good thing for you if you maybe located this… Meredith girl, and contacted her." He shrugged. "Maybe just close that particular grievance of your past."

Emma frowned. Finding people is what she did best. "Find her and kick her ass?"

That got a very healthy laughter out of Killian. "By gods, you really do have a lot of pirate in you, Swan! No!" He turned her face to him and grabbed her by the shoulders, still smiling. "Just… settle things. Talk about it. I am sure she was just as lonely and muddled as you were, love. You're both grown women now, Swan. Might do you good."

Emma sighed. "I'd have to leave town for a few days."

"No matter…" He wrinkled his nose. "I'd tag right along with you."

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Lakewood, New Jersey.

A little girl played on a lush, green front lawn. It was warm and sunny, and Emma shed her jacket as she and Killian paced to the front gate. "Hi…" she smiled at the child. "Is this the home of Mrs. Meredith Beaumont?"

The little girl stood and nodded. "Who's calling?"

Emma was about to reply when the voice came from the front door. "Emma? Emma Swan?"

Emma raised her head and looked at the woman before her. It was strange… but she really hadn't changed all that much.

The little girl ran to her mother and clung to her leg. "Who are they, mommy?"

Meredith grinned. "An old friend, honey. Go inside to play upstairs, will you?"

Emma and Killian crossed the picked fence. It was a warm, sunny day, and Emma and Killian were welcomed in the kindest way by Emma's former nemesis. "You're just the way I remember you, Emma…" she smiled kindly. Emma grinned awkwardly when Meredith kissed her cheek, before turning to Killian. "And this is your husband, I presume?" she held out her hand.

Emma didn't get a chance to cut in when Killian reached out with a grin. "Killian Jones, mam. Pleasure."

"The pleasure is all mine." She turned her grin back to Emma. "Please come on in!"

"Husband?" Emma mimicked at Killian with a sneer to which the pirate replied with a grin and a shrug, as they followed the woman into a stately-looking home, much resembling Regina's Mayor Office.

"Please, sit down! I was just about to have some tea, would you like some?" Meredith smiled as she grinned.

Killian nodded. "That'd be nice. Emma?"

"Oh… I'm good, thanks."

Meredith spoke to a maid and headed back to the living room with the same grin. Killian was rather stunned; the woman reminded him of…. Someone.

Emma licked her lips with a kind grin. "So…" She folded her skirt beneath her as she sat down on the plush couch. "You seem to… have done well for yourself."

"Oh…" Meredith grinned. "Twice divorced. Not had a lot of luck in that area, sweetie." She smiled. "And you? What do you do?"

Emma grinned. "Oh, I… I'm a sheriff."

"Oh?" Came a risen brow grin.

"Yeah… in Maine."

"Well! So you were taken all the way up to Maine when you were adopted?"

Killian cleared his throat and looked down and Emma pressed her lips into a tight grin. "No, I was… never adopted."

Meredith's grin fell. "Oh… I'm sorry, Emma." She sighed. "It was just as well. The people that adopted me were really no good. My father became a drinker and he and my mom divorced soon after I was adopted. You never know who's gonna take you home."

Emma smiled suddenly. "But I did find my real parents." She nodded happily. "That's why I moved to Maine, really."

Meredith returned the smile, only it wasn't a happy smile any more. "Oh, and they… embraced you back?"

"Yeah." Emma sighed. "They sort of… HAD to give me up for adoption, but never really wanted to. It's a long story, but… we're ok now." She sighed. "I have a son. He's twelve." She reached into her back pocket and produced her wallet to show Meredith a photograph of Henry.

The rich-looking Meredith took the photo from Emma and smiled. "Handsome!" She looked at Killian. "The two of you must be proud."

This time, Emma didn't wish to go into every sordid detail regarding Neal's passing, so she and Killian merely nodded.

There was a brief silence.

"Listen, I came here… because…"

"I… I know why you're here, Emma." Meredith nodded. "I really do. And I get it, completely." She sighed and looked straight into Emma's eyes. "I was cruel. And for the longest while, once I dealt with my own issues, I hated myself thinking how hard I must have made it all to you." She shook her head and looked down to her hands, as she fidgeted on her lap. "I won't use this as an excuse, but… I hope you do at least understand: we were all on the same boat. I was so… angry, so lonely… and you were always so pretty and kind and…" She shrugged. "It wasn't your fault, Emma. I was a bully, but I didn't mean to be. I didn't ASK to be one. I can't imagine how much hurt I must have caused you and for that… I am very, very sorry."

Emma was stunned, but was unable to control the tears that welled in her eyes and slid down her face. Killian reached out and all she was able to hold was his prosthetic hand. She swallowed hard and sniffed. "Thank you."

She didn't even have to do any explaining.

Later that day, Emma drove back home, with a rather sizeable basket of chocolates sitting in the back seat.

Killian gave her a wistful stare from the side seat, and Emma turned to him from the road with a grin, before looking back to the road. "What?"

"Oh, nothing Swan." He reached with his right hand and mussed her hair to the back of her shoulder. "I'm just bloody proud of you."

The savior smiled and nodded. "I have to say, you always seem to know exactly what I need to do."

"Open book."

"Oh, shut up…" she smiled.

"Look, life has a way of balancing itself out!" He shrugged. "There's this lonely woman, with a huge house, a child, heaps of wealth… and twice divorced. You're lucky."

"Yeah, because you're my _'husband'_?" she chuckled. "You're a piece of work, Hook."

"Come now, love, would that be such a bad thing? We already sleep together, anylord, so it wouldn't really change much…" He turned a very playful, loving stare at her. "Except you'd be Mrs. Jones, which, if I do say so myself, is quite the name."

Emma sighed. "Twice divorced. That's a scary notion."

"Here we go again… Emma!" Killian moaned. "You don't necessarily have to be the one to whom all conceivable tragedy occurs, you know?" He turned on his seat. "Know this: If I were to marry you, and I will, someday, you'd sooner know that you'd be stuck with me, love. I'd never leave you."

There was a brief silence, which Emma broke suddenly. "I feel like a frozen Latte. You want a frozen latte, Killian? I'm sure we can find some Frozen Latte somewhere…"

Killian huffed and shook his head. "My love, I'm sure you know what you're talking about, but I'm truly lost. A frozen What'eh?"

Emma giggled nervously and pulled over suddenly.

She simply sat behind the wheel, holding it – no, gripping it, and huffing out her mouth.

"Emma?" Killian sneered.

"Let's do it." Emma nodded, looking blankly ahead of the road.

Killian raised his eyebrows and looked around him. "Erhm… call me old fashioned, darling, but don't you think the setting's rather uncomfortable? Small car, open road, police passing by…"

"No, I mean we should get married."

Killian stopped breathing suddenly. He knew Swan to be a little on the wild side, but in his entire life, not once had he ever heard a woman actually sort of… propose. The ring in his pocket began to throb alive.

"C… come again, Swan?"

"Yeah." She looked at him, smiling. "Like you said, we're living together, been a year like that, we're practically already married, what's the big deal?" She turned to him completely. "The thing is, Killian, I don't think I've ever… ever felt so comfortable around someone. I like waking up with you, I like sleeping with you, travelling, eating, fighting with you, making up, making love, walking, laughing, crying, fending off strange fairy tale villains… we do make quite the team, in every sense." She shrugged. "We've practically done it all, Killian. So… I think we're pretty set." She smiled and sighed. "I'm sick and tired of looking at what could go wrong every time, especially when I know, in my heart, you'll never do wrong by me. I know you're never going to leave me, at least not because you'd want to. So…." She reached out and grabbed his hand. "Let's just do it. Let's get married."

Killian was stunned cold. He rolled his eyes to the side and sighed as he freed his hand from hers and reached into his pocket for the large blue ring he had planned to use sometime soon… and placed it on his own pinky finger, before turning to her with a funny smirk.

Emma frowned. "And… what the hell are you doing?"

Killian laughed. "Well, I was going to do the gentleman thing, and go down on one knee and all that, but you being Emma Swan, I should have figured out you'd do the whole proposing and leave me to twist in the wind with my dashing plans, so…" He shrugged. "I just… thought maybe I should wear the ring instead…"

Emma's face contorted into a cute wince, like she was looking at a litter of newborn puppies. "Killian… you were going to…?"

"Well, not precisely today, but next week… at the lake. Had it all set up, Swan. Damn you, woman, can't you just let me do the gallant thing for once?"

Emma laughed and jumped to him, grabbing his face between her hands and kissing him. "You are such a beautiful dope!" she continued giggling, kissing his nose. "We'll do your lake thing anyway, Killian, no problem."

Killian kissed her back soundly before grinning. "Never mind, darling. I don't care. Whether it's me or you, no matter. As long as I get to spend the rest of my life with you, I'm good. Here…" He removed the ring from his pinky and placed it on her finger. "There. And yes, I accept your proposal, Emma Swan. I'll marry you, you… bloody thunder thief."


	5. My Name is Eliza

**Thanks to all that have read my work, and especially to those who follow, fave and above all, comment! You peeps make my day.**

**Seeing all the Tumblr photos of CS goodness filming in Vancouver has brought my terrible hiatus blues to a sudden, happy end. So here's one more installment. Fluff. Loads of fluff. Bring on the fluff, fluff is oxygen.**

**Thanks again and please do comment, makes my day!**

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My name is Eliza.

It was a really peaceful afternoon, quite warm for Storybrooke standards. No rain, no snow, no chilled winds blowing in from the sea... and the captain found it rather hard to continue wearing leather through the climate. He'd long ago shed his old-as-the-hills eighteenth century garb (except the trenchie; he loved that thing and it was still wearable, he reasoned always... always a man of reason, he was). and had settled for the more comfortable swag of this realm.

He wondered why Jeans and t-shirts had never been used in his own world. A true thing of beauty. Not to mention beanies. He did look dashing in them; then again, he reasoned, he looked dashing in just about anything.

He and Emma were pretty much just soaking in the peaceful afternoon. They were practically about to fall asleep on a hammock Henry had made as a school Home Ed Workshop Project and, it had to be said: If the young prince decided to never claim his position and title, he'd certainly make a damn good living as an upholsterer. The thing had actually once held the weight of the three of them.

Killian lay stretched out, his legs crossed at his ankles, white socks touching the very end of the hammock, handless arm around Emma's back and his good hand tucked under his head, while Emma was curled around him, clasping his body with her leg and her arm, her hand with a fine blue engagement ring resting where his heart sat. It was soothing to feel how it beat under her touch.

_"What do you do with a drunken sailor, what do you do with a drunken sailor... ear-lay in the morning... way-hey, up she rises..."_

"Do you know you actually have a really nice singing voice?" Emma mumbled with a smile, her cheek smooshed against his shoulder.

"I've been told, love."

"What's that you're singing?"

"A sailor's shanty, Swan. I believe it's actually pertaining to YOUR realm and not my own."

"Hmm, where did you pick it up?"

He smiled, his eyes closed as the breeze blew in, warm from the ocean. "Your boy showed me some magical thing called youtube."

Emma laughed. "Yeah, you can get just about anything there."

They fell into a comfortable silence, which he broke a minute later.

"I love you."

"Love you too..."

"Why do you?"

She wrinkled her nose and looked up into his eyes. "Why do I love you?"

"Aye, why do you?" He shrugged. "Aside from the whole 'devilishly handsome' thing which goes without saying..."

"Cool it, pirate." She chuckled. "I dated cuter guys."

Killian gasped mockingly. "Swan! I take offense at that!"

"Anyway, your question?"

"Yesss..."

She sighed and nuzzled up to him. "Basically, because no one had ever seen through me as clearly as you. I don't have to tell you anything or ask for anything but you seem to know what I want and how... but more importantly, you know what I need, whether I agree with it or not. You're always there, even when I'm being a total cow and well. You've put up with my parents being..."

"Being parents, love."

"Yeah, well, that's more than enough." She chuckled. "How good you are with Henry, God, that was a big one. I've seen what you've done to get to this point. You went from being a cutthroat asshole with a serious attitude problem to... you. And I really love that real you." He tightened his grip around her with a sigh. "Not to mention I've not forgotten that you traded the Jolly Roger for me and honestly, Killian, who the hell does that?"

He grinned. "I'd do it again in the blink of an eye, Swan."

She chuckled. "I wish you hadn't had to."

He kissed the top of his head. "It's a good thing I had her, otherwise I'd not have anything of value to trade for the bloody bean."

"But you loved her."

"Emma, do you really want to start down that particular road?"

She turned her face up to his. "In spite of everything, I still can't wrap my mind around how you actually went through with it."

He sighed. "Have you any clue how bloody miserable I was for that whole year, Emma? Believe me, if you had seen me during that year my decision would not have been surprising to you at all."

"Aw, did you really, really pine for me, you silly pirate?" She chuckled, settling into the warmth of his chest.

Killian sighed. He took his hand from the back of his head to her hair. "You really want to know?"

She smiled. "I told you why I loved you. Now you have to tell me how you pined for me, it's practically the same thing."

Killian side-grinned. "No... You'll fall asleep, my love, you're practically halfway down the Sandman's path already..."

She sighed, contently settling for a story. "If I do, rest assured I'll be dreaming of you."

He giggled. "Very well then, love..."

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_He found her._

_Although he was no longer sure whether or not to refer to her as 'her', anymore; Smee had had a point. It was a ship, an it. She had always been an it. It had always been a she as well, though._

_Old habits are not easily swayed away._

_Nonetheless, the gaping hole in his heart was still unfilled and the smell of the sea was no longer that instant medicine it had always been. When his father had run away, it had been the sea that had prompted him to speak again, after he had witnessed the death of his twin sister. The swaying sound of waves crashing on a shore, the whisper of the foamy water as it receded from a sandy beach... all too luring. _

_The ocean was peace. The ocean was freedom. _

_The ocean was home._

_But... No. Not anymore. He had tried so hard to be that same man, that careless, free spirited pirate who had all the world at his very feet. Free from the enslaving grasp of revenge, he was once again Captain Jones, Hook, dear pirate of the dread seas..._

_No. _

_After slaying Blackbeard, all he had was a wooden ship and a bunch of men that were willing to obay his every command, not out of love or loyalty, but fear. That was not what he wanted... he hated admitting it: a man in love can only be sated with love. No wine, no rum, no loot or bounty, no ship, not even the immensity of the vast ocean was enough anymore. All that dreadful betrayal of his own code... for nothing._

_There was a murmur in the win, and whereas the ocean had always soothed his soul in the past, this time it served mre as a reminder, a constant poking of his ribs. 'Swan... Swan...' The water crashing against the keel and hull of the Jolly Roger spoke the very name of the savior. ANd his heart, during the starry nights of silent solitude, pounded an evenly clear "Em-ma, em-ma", echoing together with the once relaxing voice of the ship, the creaking wood that resulted from the gentle sway of the vessel atop the waters._

_'Wasted years and endless torment'. _

_"The_ _mermaid's curse..." He whispered one night, his gaze fixed on the side of the horizon during a particularly beautiful and peaceful night. He drunkenly hung from the shrouds of the main mast, trying -desperately trying to find solace in the wind fluttering his dark tresses. But it didn't come. "Aye... I'm a cursed man..." He sighed, taking another swig of rum before climbing down the shrouds. He looked up to the stars and for a brief second he was able to think of something else: A possible course. He was a pirate captain... and he had a crew. They needed pay, wine and merriment if they were to remain at his side. So he continued to stir the vessel, turning the helm to port thirty-five degrees, past hangman's island, to Fisherman's Cove. There was plenty a treasure aboard the Jolly, and as soon as they reached the harbor, he had plans to give the crew a full week's shore leave, fully waged._

_He desperately wanted a woman. Only to have intercourse. Maybe that would soothe his aching soul._

_Within the hour, the sun began to show itself, golden rays coloring the black sheet of the sky in warm pinks and the ocean's page with luminous greens. _

_"Emma..." He sighed. The rays of the sun were gold, like her hair, the pink of her cheeks and the green of her eyes. "Bloody hell, woman, can I not escape the thought of you but for a meager second?" He moaned, surprised at just how much he wanted, needed to rid himself of her memory, and yet, had no real desire to forget her at all. _

_For a man who had always known blacks from whites, such muddled, contradictory thoughts really made no sense._

_As soon as he stirred the rudder into port, he single-handedly (quite single-handedly) pushed the anchor lever down and placed the gangplank, while the masters of the bay tied her secure on the pier masts. "Mornin' Captain Hook!" They greeted. "Welcome back to Fisherman's Cove, Sir!"_

_For a marked man, he really was quite popular and loved by the sea-breathing folk._

_Killian responded with a nod and a grin before heading to the treasury. He grabbed an equal share of ten gold coins for each sailor (fifteen for Smee), placed them all in small pouches and proceeded back up to the deck to ring the bell and wake his men._

_For a gang of pirates, they knew discipline rather well. Within seconds, they had lined up perfectly._

_"Morning to you all, mangy bleeders." He grinned. "I am in dire need for a break from your ugly faces, lads, and since I'm in such a bloody generous mood, I am giving you sorry lot, all of you, a whole week's shore leave with three extra gold coins." That got him a cheer from his crew. "Smee!"_

_"Aye aye, sir..." The podgy man stood beside his Captain._

_"Here..." He handed the slightly heavier pouch to Smee. "For your loyal services, mate, a little extra."_

_Smee licked his lips with a smile; Killian returned the grin and turned on his way back to his cabin. _

_"Are you not joining us, Sir."_

_Killian stopped and turned to him. "Nay... But there is one thing you can do for me, Mr. Smee..."_

_"Name it, Sir."_

_He turned his face back and sighed. "Send me a whore... make her beautiful, luscious... And blonde."_

_Smee cackled and nodded. "Aye, sir, that you shall have." He then made his way out of the vessel and disappeared through the narrow alleyways._

_Killian went back into the treasury and sat amidst piles of gold looted from hundreds of different vessels. He tried to pick up the whiff of the gold, that stale, bitter smell of old metal that all pirates yearn for... but even that fell short of his expectations. The only scent he associated with gold was her hair... her beautiful hair, the scent of berries and her, so much of her..._

_His heart fell once more as his eyes suddenly spotted a small, blue stone. He furrowed his brow and reached to the little gem. A ring. A large, blue stone, surrounded by small rhinestone diamonds. He grinned as he toyed with the ring. "Hello, mate, where did you come from?"_

_Gods only knew where it came from or who it had belonged to._

_He turned, still admiring the ring with a pleasantly sad grin, and walked to the deck once more, headed for his quarters._

_He collapsed on his bed, groaning and fiddling with the precious gem; he slid it into his pinky finger and held his hand out, admiring its beauty; and the image unavoidably drifted onto the hand of the savior... his savior, the woman he loved more than life itself and who didn't even remember him at all. _

_"You'd think perhaps a grown man wouldn't feel like an infant in a swaddling cloth whimpering alone in the dark, would you now, Swan?" He mumbled to her... to the ring... to himself or to no one."I'm so lost... so lost without you..." He felt a tear trickle down the side of his cheek and he chuckle. "Like a babe... damn you, Swan..." He clenched the ring hard in his fist together with his entire face, contorted in agony, and he rolled to his side, feeling the unavoidable sobs come to his chest in heaving pain._

_It wasn't until the sound of footsteps on the upper deck were heard that he ceased crying. He sniffed and rolled his face back up the direction of the trap door above the ladder that led to his inner sanctum. Three even taps were heard. "Captain Hook?"_

_The soft voice of a female..._

_Killian sniffed and promptly cleaned the tears from his eyes with his sleeve as he rose, cleared his throat and stood straight._

_"Down here, m'darling..."_

_Female shoes descended as the luminously blonde wench stepped in view._

_No. Not even close. But she'd have to do._

_"I was told I had to look for a lonely Captain onboard the Jolly Roger." She grinned as she made her way to the grinning young pirate. "And I have to say, Captain, the stories told about your unbelievably dashing good looks? I am not disspointed."_

_"Oh..." He whispered under his breath, pacing to her. "Hope I am worth your time and you my money, then love."_

_They came together in a hot and heady kiss. Killian closed his eyes hard, very hard, and tried to picture his Swan instead of the bar wench he was seducing._

_It seemed to do the trick._

_"Oh... Captain..."_

_"Shh, don't speak love..." He begged amidst kisses. The voice alone could bring him out of synch with his illusion, his desperate, squirming illusion._

_"As you wish..." she giggled, tugging his shirt up and running her hand up his chest._

_Killian moaned into her mouth as she gave him a gentle shove lying him down on the bed. Swan, Swan, Emma, Neverland, a onetime thing, he kept thinking, his eyes firmly shut. Maybe this time he'd get the job done, unlike the previous hooker his shipmates had kindly funded for him, whom he had unceremoniously sent home with an extra payment to guarantee her silence and save some face._

_Emma, his thoughts focused on her face, her freckles, the dimple on her chin and the light in her green-as-emmerald eyes. Emma... Emma... Emma..._

_"Eliza... My name is Eliza..." The woman stopped suddenly and rose from his bed huffing._

_"I... don't recall asking your name..." Killian sat up while the girl readjusted the laces of her bodice._

_"You have not." She huffed. "But you seem to assume it's 'Emma'; " She chuckled sarcastically, pressing her dress down with her hands. "And I may be a common whore, Captain, but I am also a woman and I do prefer to be treated as such. Good evening to you. My wages, if you please..."_

_So he had said it out loud... shit. Bad, bad form._

_He pressed his lips together and huffed, shaking his head. 'Damn you again, Swan", he thought as he tilted his head in the direction ofhis table. "In that pouch, love. Take it all."_

_The girl stomped and took the pouch in her hand. She was about to leave, but stopped short of stepping up the first rung. "Captain... there's three times my wages here..."_

_"Aye. Keep it."_

_She turned, her big, sweet brown eyes, glinting in the dark. "I'd heard of your ruthlessness, but not of your generosity, Sir."_

_"Aye, well..." He hung his legs over the edge of his bed and leapt off, reaching for the rum. "Some things are best left unsaid. Spreading rumors is bad form, darling."_

_The girl shifted her face from her hand to her host. She then placed the little pouch in her pocket and turned back, pulling out a chair and sitting down._

_Killian sneered. "Wh... what are you doing?"_

_Eliza girnned. "I sense that sex is not what you seek this night... merely company. And a shoulder to cry on. Come, Captain, I can drink with the best of them. Sit beside me and tell me all there is to know about this 'Emma' your heart yearns and longs for."_

_The Captain's gaze fell to the ground. Normally, his old self would have taken a knife to the woman's throat and threatened her to leave him to his thoughts... or maybe just tossed her off the edge of the plank, to weep his own sorrows by himself. _

_But the man that now stood dressed in the clothes of Captain Hook was no longer that man. He wassomeone else entirely._

_He pulled the chair and handed her aleather tumbler, poring the contents of his flask in for her as he sat. "I jope you are in for long stories... Eliza."_

_The girl grinned. "Do you have a name, Sir, or should I just refer to you as Captain, or Mr. Hook?"_

_Killian blinked absently, staring at the flask in his hands. "Killian. My name is Killian..."_

_Eliza smiled. "Pleased to meet you... Killian. Now... About your Emma..."_

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"And that, love, was the moment I realized; I was no longer Captain Hook. Blackbeard was right. I was no longer a pirate. I couldn't be whom I was before any more." He sighed. Emma was perfectly still. "Emma? "

He looked down at her face; she was blissfully asleep... and looked as beautiful as a porcelain doll as she leaned her gentle, freckled face on his chest, deep breaths and a soft grin tracing her lips.

He chuckled. "Blast it, Swan. You missed my story..." He whispered as he kissed the crown of her head. "My beautiful, silly old siren." He sighed and closed his eyes, singing into her hair. "_Some sweetheart or wife that he loved as his life, each drank, and wished he could hail her: __But the standing toast that pleased him the most, was the wind that blows, the Ship that goes ,and the lass who loves a sailor!'"_ He chuckled softly. "Keep dreaming of me, darling." He kissed her head and smiled, looking into the distant horizon. The sea smelled like solace once more and the sound of the waves coming into the Storybrooke bay once again helped ease any emotional ache he may have harbored.

And it brought back the image of a happy young woman who had pretty much gone out of his way at a time of dire need.

He grinned an ear-to-ear grin and nodded. "Cheers, Eliza..."


	6. Illness

Illness.

He had never seen her like this. To Killian, Emma was like the northern winds: Strong, powerful, always gushing southward, stirring the ship that was his life in the right direction, with a determination that was enviable even to him. He'd never had a moment's doubt in his heart when it came to Emma's will-power: she'd always find a way.

So seeing her like this was not just odd; it was downright soul-ripping painful.

It had started off as a common cold; but Emma being Emma, she continued about her business ("Weddings don't arrange themselves, Killian!"), bathing, going back and forth and working until one day, the common cold spiraled into bronchitis. Despite Killian's concern at her ragged, dry cough, she pressed on ("Not the first time I've had this, just need some vitamins and I'll be good as new"). After three weeks, the dry cough had turned increasingly violent, and when one night her cough stirred him awake, he was beyond petrified at the horrible discovery of blood on her pillow, and Emma on the floor.

Usually, Killian was not an alarmist; but in his world, hacking up blood meant you were a week from your deathbed. He had lost many a sailor to what they called in his realm "Dragon's Death" (he explained it was because of the whole feeling of breathing out fire). Dr. Whale explained that in this realm, it was called Tuberculosis and was actually caused by bacteria. And like the stranger to all things modern that he was, Killian required additional explaining to understand the concept of super-tiny animals, fungus and viruses that were responsible for people's ailments, including Dragon's Death.

More importantly, he desperately pleaded (yes, he actually pleaded) whale for a cure.

"She needs rest, Captain." Whale assured him. "Rest, sleep and respiratory aids, not to mention a whole lot of antibiotics. We should test you too." He looked up at Killian. "TB is highly contagious."

"So…" Killian rubbed his stubble. "I might have also caught my death from her? Through her… coughing out these, erhm… bacteria?" he nodded. It made sense, far more sense than 'ill-fated luck' or 'lack of a health amulet'.

Whale laughed. "Look, it looks serious and it probably would be deadly if she were back in the forest, buddy, but over here we have all we need to make her right as rain." He placed a hand on Killian's shoulder. "It'll take a couple of weeks, but we'll make her well, Killian, she's in good hands." Now about you…" He produced his notepad. "we need to test you, see if you have the bug in your blood and what stage it's in; you could just as easily get off the hook, no pun intended, with a single shot. If not, we may have to quarantine you as well." He closed hid pad. "I'll go set everything up… be sure that everyone who has come in contact with her comes over for testing, ok? Anyone who hasn't had their TB shots this year. And remember, Hook…" he grinned at the Captain. "She will be fine. Don't worry."

Killian nodded, his eyes darting from Whale's face to his fiancée as she lay in that horrible, cold bed, covered by a crisp-looking plastic tent and all sorts of pipes and tubes prodded into her nose and mouth. She looked small and frail, a far cry from the red-jacketed savior climbing up the beanstalk, burning witches with white magic and opening up time portals with only a wand and her sheer will power.

Yes. It was painful. Too painful. And knowing that there was little he could do but watch her sleep under all those horrid tubes and pipes, he chose to go to the lounge and wait for the rest of the royals to arrive.

David came with Henry; he had picked him up from Regina's before driving to the Hospital. Snow tagged along, looking already quite flustered, with little Neal in a baby sling.

"Hook!" David ran to him. "What happened?"

"How is she?" snow cut in.

Henry simply looked up to Killian's face.

The pirate sighed and ran his good hand down his face, shifting from the weight of one foot to the other. "Well, Whale says she'll make a full recovery, but…" He bit his lip. "Your highnesses ever heard of Dragon's Death?"

That got a shocked gasp from both parents as Snow fell into David's embrace.

"Dragon's… Death?" Henry's face paled. "You mean… Is she…?"

"It's tuberculosis, Kid." David hugged the boy.

"How did she get it?" Snow asked, on the brink of tears.

"I've not but the first clue, love." Killian shrugged. "She'd been slightly under the weather for a few weeks now; I told her to rest, but you know Emma…"

"Yeah, we do." David pressed his lips together tight. "Did Whale say anything else?"

"That I might be ill myself…. And that we all need testing, unless you all have your… shots, he called them."

"I got mine in school." Henry nodded.

"We do too, but Neal…" Snow stepped back away little from Hook, knowing he was probably the only focal point of possible infection. He looked slightly dejected, but completely understood her motivation.

Whale joined them soon enough; the first to be tested was baby Neal, who returned an instant negative. Killian, on the other hand, was apparently infested, but resistant to the disease; after 300 years of dealing with Dragon's Death, he had probably gained resistance to the illness and was merely a carrier of it. His heart sank, flooded with guilt, as he was immediately quarantined to fully eliminate the disease from his system.

It took two days for his test to come clean and free of the bacteria. But the guilt that he had been the one to make his adored Swan ill was still heavy on him. Once he recovered, he sat by her bedside, day and night, hardly eating and scarcely sleeping. There was a gloved hole in her tent where he could hold her hand, but the rubbery layer between their skin felt like he were in another realm. He longed to feel her skin in his hand and he fought to hold back the tears.

She stirred awake and her lashes fluttered over dark circles beneath the green orbs of her eyes. Killian's gaze welcomed her with a smile, his hand wrapped around hers in a rubbery grip. "Hello, love…"

She grinned back weakly and tried to return his grip. "Hey…" she managed to whisper.

"Shh, darling, stay mum, don't talk…"

"Why not?" Her voice sounded weak and husky, but her smile was still out of this world and all the others he'd ever travelled. "It's not like I'll get better any faster if I just… shut up."

Killian smirked and tightened his grip. "You will be the death of me, Swan."

"Not if I die first."

"You won't." He replied cuttingly, "You hear me? You… WON'T." He gulped hard. "If anyone should be lying there it should be me, not you. And here I sit, fit as a bloody fiddle, when you…"

"Oh, shut up, Pirate, how is this your fault?"

Killian looked at her with eyes that resembled a puppy behind a glass casing. He pressed his lips together. "Whale explained to me how these things called bacteria and viruses are the real cause for maladies, Emma. What you have, the ailment that made you ill, in my realm is called Dragon's Death. Over here, whale said it's called Turberculosis. Very popular in the sea-fairing world." He shrugged. "Apparently, I was so much exposed to it in my past that I'm rather… immune to it, but…." He heaved. "I carried it and… gave it to you, love. I am so sorry…"

It made her ache that he'd actually felt any form of guilt over this. She chuckled. "You are ridiculously adorable at times, you know that?"

"It's not funny, Swan. You really are quite ill, it will take you a couple of weeks to be back on your feet, and I…"

"And all will be well once I am" She squeezed his ringed fingers. "You didn't know you had that disease, Killian, stop blaming yourself. I'll be fine. Just…" She coughed dryly and painfully and Killian winced with each cough as if it were hacking away from his won chest. "…just do me a favor, pirate…"

"Name it, darling."

"Keep an eye on Henry and see to the whole thing with the dinner catering for the wedding." She huffed. "Now THEY will be the death of me."

Killian nodded with a chuckle and ached to touch her forehead with his hand. He simply stared at her. "Had you ever been as sick as this before?" He swallowed hard. "Did you bounce back well enough?"

Emma thought and grinned. She had indeed been terribly ill once… and alone.

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_It was raining hard, and the pain in her chest was not getting better. She was only sixteen and she was really quite sure she had just about caught her own death. Just as well, it wasn't like anybody cared, anyway._

_Having pneumonia and sleeping under a bridge during rain season is really not the best idea, but the truth was, she really had nowhere to go. Or she did, she just… didn't want to. She had started running at fifteen and had somehow managed to stay alive without recurring to the shameful fate of prostitution, even if she had had a couple of tempting, juicy offers. But she was determined to make it to eighteen somehow and not get caught in that particular line of work._

_Seemed now she might not even need to bother thinking about the future. She thought, instead, of the people who had given her up. Why? Why wouldn't they have wanted her? Was she too unsightly? Was perhaps, her mother having an affair with another man? Was it a shameful pregnancy? What would they be up to? Maybe they had a whole new family, one that they could handle this time. Or maybe her mother had been raped and had good reason to get rid of her._

_All the same, she was fairly certain that, wherever and whoever they were they probably had a roof, clothing, and weren't dying of pneumonia beneath a bridge in Boston._

_She remembered her days at the home: How she had fought for her sleeping bunk, dealt with bullies and leaned to open doors without a key… and petty theft had so far kept her alive. But this was another matter altogether: too weak to try and run for the local shelter, Emma's fever raged and she started to wonder if the kind, loving face that slowly picked her up from the ground was actually Jesus, or God, and that she had finally crossed that line where people don't return from._

_She woke up three days later in a hospital. She was alive?_

_Emma hadn't felt the comfort of a bed, even a hospital bed, since she had started running. It really made a heck of a difference. She could have sworn that the doctor there called her by her name before she once again drifted away. _

_For the next six weeks, Emma remained in the hospital. The girl beside her, Katie Halloran, was at least four years younger, but Emma loved her high-spirited energy in view of her tragic relapse into leukemia. All the same, it wasn't often that Emma found a confidante, so Katie became her ear. She was an outstanding listener; and she seemed incredibly wise for her age. _

_The last think Katie ever said to Emma were words she always kept in her heart: "Life is like a flower, Emma: It blooms and then the petals fall and the flower wilts… but don't forget, there's a bigger, better flower blooming after that one, and so on, until finally, one of them will not ever, ever wilt away and will stay in your heart forever."_

_It made Emma wondered how someone, anyone, could have such a positive outlook on life when she had so little of it left._

_Often, Katie's mom would bring Emma flowers as well, and Emma started daydreaming about maybe going home with the Hallorans. They doted on the sick little girl and the love she witnessed was something she simply couldn't understand but envied terribly._

_The day Katie finally left this world, Emma woke up to an empty beside, and was devastated, to say the least. She was alone… again, and all daydreams of going home with the Hallorans evaporated as yet another infantile fantasy. She was not meant to have love or be loved, she reasoned, and the sooner she understood that idea and ceased yearning for a family, the sooner she'd stop suffering._

_She was let out of the hospital a week and a half after Katie's passing, dressed in exactly the same clothes she was wearing when she had been admitted. She rubbed her elbow as child services collected her and took her (again) back to the home. _

_She knew she'd run away again soon. Mainly because she knew at that moment that she would have gladly traded places with Katie. Not because she had a death wish; but because, in that brief life of hers, Katie had enjoyed something Emma seemed she would never have: support, affection, caresses, kisses, gifts… and love. Lots of love, till her very last breath. She was now free to leave the hospital, with a perfect bill of health…_

_And still alone._

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"Did you ever see the Hallorans again?" Killian asked, tracing circles with his gloved thumb on the back of her hand.

"Almost…" She grinned. "During that year I didn't remember you, after the second curse. I traced them back to Boston and sent them a card for Thanksgiving…" she grinned. "They invited me over."

Killian smiled fully. He had no clue what Thanksgiving was, but knew the significance of that invitation for her. "And did you go?"

She grinned. "No."

His face fell. "Oh, Swan… why?"

She sighed shallowly and swallowed. "I suppose it was difficult for me to think that I'd honestly be wanted there at all…" She shrugged. "I had Henry… all I knew then was that Neal had used me and left." She squeezed his hand. "I was scared."

"Scared of what love? Happiness?"

"No…" She grinned sadly. "Scared that it wouldn't be true."

Killian looked to the floor and shook his head. He knew a thing or two about that feeling of hopelessness.

"Well, Emma Swan…" He shifted from the chair to her bedside, barely touching the oxygen tent. "Rest assured that you're not alone any longer. And when you get discharged from this sanatorium, there's a lot of love waiting for you to come home to." He smiled at her, still holding her hand. "This flower…" He tilted his head to the side in a very Killianesque way. "…will not wilt or wither into the ground, Emma. Not going anywhere. So…" He kissed the air in her direction and winked. "You just focus on being well, love

Emma smiled weakly back. "Wouldn't miss it for the world…" She sighed and blew a kiss at him.

"You need to get some sleep, my love…" He nodded.

"Aye aye, captain."

She closed her eyes gently and drifted away into a deep sleep.

Before he released her hand, Killian turned it around to look at her wrist. The little flowered tattoo suddenly made a whole lot more sense. The flower that she yearned for, the one she'd get to keep in her heart, that wouldn't wilt away into the soil…

Killian smiled and made a mental note to get a matching tattoo on himself… even if it was completely girlie… and he'd convince her to join the Hallorans for thanksgiving this year, as soon as they were married… Whatever Thanksgiving was.

Or better still…

As soon as she was asleep, Killian asked Mary Margaret to keep watch of Emma while he went back home. He sifted through Emma's belongings (something he knew he'd quite likely lose half his virility for as soon as she found out) and found the address and number of the Hallorans.

He grinned and dialed.

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Emma was discharged after a whole month, to be kept under a strict diet and medical treatment lasting a couple more months, but with a clean bill of health. She looked ravishing, the sheriff of the town, as he made her way out of the Hospital. She was greeted by the ever-present figure of her Pirate fiancée, who rose from the waiting lounge and ran to her, embracing her hard and kissing her like there was no tomorrow. Her son and parents joined in seconds later and they all went into David's pick up truck, probably breaking at least a dozen Storybrooke road rules when Killian, Emma and henry jumped into the back.

Who cared. She wasn't going to bust herself.

They drove to Granny's, where a whole "Welcome Home Emma" lunch party had been prepared. Everyone who mattered to her was there, cheering her for her recovery.

David took her by the arm. "Emma, there's a couple of people I'd like you to meet…"

"Oh, god, who was it this time, Ichabod Cane and the Headless Horseman?" she chuckled.

David laughed. "Not exactly, honey. These are real people…" They reached a table and a couple stood up. "Mr. and Mrs. Halloran? This is Emma."

Emma went white and then red as the kindly old couple grinned at her. "Hello, sweetie… didn't you grow up beautiful!" Mrs. Halloran quipped.

"A true princess… who would have known." Mr. Halloran added.

Emma turned a startled gaze from them to David. "What… you… they know?"

"It's kind of hard to deny the facts behind your heritage when you see someone like Mr. Gold makes a fireball out of thin air in his hand, Emma dear." The lady nodded. "And who would have thought Captain Hook was such a hunk…"

Emma smiled. "Killian…." She whispered under her breath as she suddenly reached out and hugged the older couple.

In silence, and with a knowing grin on her face, Mrs. Halloran reached into her purse and produced a photograph of Katie. "Here…" She said. "This is for you."

"Katie always knew you were special, Emma." Mr. Halloran added kindly. "She knew you'd find your home someday… and unusual as it may be, it seems that she was absolutely right."

"Well, it seems your child was a living angel." Came a grinning Killian behind them, a beer mug in his hand, and he placed the hooked arm around Emma.

The savior turned two teary eyes in his direction. "First the Jolly Roger… then this… I…"

"Don't mention it, darling." He delivered a quick peck to her lips before handing her her medicine. "Now, don't forget, you take the blue one in five minutes and the red one just after tea time. You got it?"

She nodded a sniffy and happy yes before sitting down with her not-so-new friends, the Hallorans.

Killian and David looked at them from the bar.

"I don't know where you keep getting these ideas, man, but I swear you deserve a nobel price." David smiled in Emma's direction. "I'd never seen Emma happier."

"She deserves it." Killian nodded.

"And you deserve her too."

Killian grinned happily and felt his own heart turn to gold when she turned from the booth and smiled the most radiant smile he'd seen to date. He returned it, feeling for the first time far less dashing than before.

"Mate…"

"Yeah?"

"What the bloody hell is a Nobel Price?"


	7. His age and falling in love

Killian really was enjoying life in this realm… kingdom… kingdom-realm. Whatever.

A whole show on the history of democracy had just played in the History Channel. It was all a lot of nonsense to him. What the hell was "democracy"? When Emma had tried to explain to Killian about the power of vote, he thought it was "daft and pointless for sheeple to appoint a ruler; he's bound to become greedy, corrupt and self-serving if he wasn't assigned to the position by divine right with an inherited obligation to the people." In a nutshell, Killian had pretty much nailed the current state of world politics.

Still, he had to admit some kings were like that; otherwise he'd still have his brother… or not. Perhaps they'd both be long dead by now. One thing was for sure: had the king not sent them both on that fatidic "Hero's Journey" on the quest for Dreamshade, Liam would have lived, they'd have either returned with a lethal poison and carried the burden of guilt after discovering its true purpose or they would have disclosed the King's intentions and started a revolution, and either way both he and Lima might have wound up as pirates or outlaws hiding in Neverland, or might have been found and beheaded in the main square for high treason and…

Ok, so he owed that despicable king his very life and the fact that he had lived long enough to know Emma Swan. Given.

"So… what was it like? Back then, when you were… young… I mean?" she chuckled as she sat, huddled beneath a thick throw blanket on a couch by his side, hot cup of coffee in her hand, while he held her with his good arm and actually caressed her hair with his handless wrist (something that didn't seem to freak her out and that he had become quite comfortable doing).

"Why do you hesitate whenever you speak of my age, Swan?" He said through a smile that he knew would embarrass her (and that was part of the fun).

"I don't… I mean…" she flushed red. "Yeah, I know you were in Neverland and time sort of froze for you for twenty-eight years after that but… well, you were born maybe three hundred years ago and…"

"Three hundred and thirty-two, love. I was exactly twenty-five when I left for that accursed place…"

"Ok, so you were there for… three hundred and seven years?"

"Aye."

"How did you even… Like, how did you NOT get bored, or anything?" She huffed and nuzzled into his ribs. "I can't stand sitting idle at the station for two hours, even! Three hundred and seven years? What the hell did you do with yourself?"

Killian giggled an unamused laugh. "And what makes you think I wanted to be entertained by anything, darling? My quest was for revenge, there's hardly any room for amusement when your heart is so… dark." He said that final word with a sneer that was audible even when she wasn't looking at his face. "But there was another thing…"

"What?"

"I don't know…" He shrugged. "Time passes differently in Neverland." He bit his lip. "You know how we went to get Henry and spent, perhaps, what to us felt a couple of weeks?"

Emma sat up straight and looked into his eyes as she nodded. "Hey that's right! It actually took us a whole two months to get back home!"

Killian nodded. "There you have it. To me, it felt like, maybe, fifteen years at most. Alas, when I finally returned to the south shores of the Enchanted Forest, everyone I had known and befriended in bars and alleys was long gone. Lived around like that for about five years before I encountered the Evil Queen and then Cora and everything started to get insanely mad. "

"Wow… " she cuddled against him.

"So I may be damn old, love, but I've not aged one bit. My clock stopped ticking the moment I reached Neverland, resumed its course briefly when Cora and Regina located me, then froze again for twenty-eight years and didn't fully start to move again until shortly before I met you."

Emma shook her head. "Ok, so…" She huffed and creased her eyebrow as she tried to do the math. "You were twenty-five when you lost your hand and went to Neverland…"

"Aye…"

And so the three hundred and seven years there are pretty much moot point."

"Indeed."

"Then you returned from Neverland and dwelled around with Regina and Cora for… five years, which means you were thirty when the curse hit."

"Precisely."

Emma continued staring at her fingers as she focused on her math of he boyfriend's age. "Ok, so then Cora sort of… froze you?"

"Aye. I was rather pivotal to her finding her daughter without either of us being devoid of our memories, so she and I met at a far shore from the woods and she cast a protection spell. We must have frozen solid in place or something, because I swear that my last memory is seeing Regina's purple clouds covering our heads and then, in the blink of an eye, it had dissipated and twenty-eight years had passed by." He shrugged. "Didn't even feel time passing by, it was just like taking a deep breath."

"And that's when you and Cora started searching for the compass…"

"And when you and Mary Margaret fell through that portal…" he grinned and ran a finger down her face with a grin. "And thus, the day we met."

"Ok, ok…" She kicked her lips. "And that was… three years ago."

"Aye."

"So, you are actually just thirty three?"

He shrugged with a pout. "I suppose so."

She shook her head. "How does that even make any sense?"

Killian huffed and gave her a look that read, "_Oh, please!"_ all over it. "Are you serious, Emma? You are being courted by Captain Hook and are the elder child of Prince Charming and Snow White, had a son with the offspring of Rumplestiltskin and are best friends with a werewolf and an Ice Queen. In my world that is all perfectly feasible, but should you utter any of that out loud in this magic-less realm of yours, you'd be thrown into a lunatic asylum. You are honestly wondering how I survived for three hundred and seven years?"

Emma pressed her lips and nodded. "Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry, it still all seems like a doozy at times."

He grinned and bopped her nose. "Get used to it, darling."

She smiled at him and once again fell into his cuddle after placing her now empty cup on the coffee table. "I could do that."

They fell into a comfortable silence, arms embraced around each other, when he suddenly sighed. "I remember that day…"

"What day?" She mumbled sleepily.

"When Cora ravaged the camp… the day I met you."

She smiled. "Hard to forget the day a woman pressed a huge ass knife to your throat."

"Aye, indeed, but…" he bit his lip and gave his head a slight tilt. "That's not… quite how I make that particular recollection."

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"_I may be a pirate, but what you have done here with these people is absolutely dire and appalling, Cora!" Killian shouted, his eyes glaring with dismay at the piles and piles of corpses surrounding them. _

_Cora grinned charmingly at Hook. "Ohh, so we have a pirate with a conscience, have we?" she chuckled coldly and tilted his face upwards with her folded fan. "Don't you forget why we're together now, Hook." She huffed. "I want to get to my daughter, and you want your revenge on Rumplestiltskin. These people are… were, nothing more but the means to an end."_

"_Slaying innocent women and helpless children who don't even get a fair chance to fight is bad form, majesty." He replied in horror. "There are other ways! My revenge and your quest are with those two and those two alone, why would you even…"_

"_Make a plausible diversion!" she laughed. "The Savior and her posse will get back, and when they do…" she caressed his face with the back of her hand. "We will learn all we need to know about this… Storybrooke my daughter created. The place of residence… of Rumplestiltskin. You remember him, don't you, Hook?"_

_His heart still darkened by the lingering evil left in him after so many years in Neverland and the thirst for revenge that still needed desperate quenching, Killian hardened. "Aye, indeed… But what makes you think these ladies will be willing to cooperate?"_

"_Why, Captain." Cora tilted her head to the side. "I did not pick your aid randomly. I may be old, but not impervious to the charms of what you yourself call a… what was it? 'Devilishly Handsome Man'?" she chuckled. "We're a team, Hook. You seduce the Savior, you make her believe everything you say… and lead them to speak about their home. You must not forget: Snow White is with them. She knows more about Regina than I do at this point in life. You… will become the sole survivor of this massacre…" She ran her hands up and down his leather vest lapel. "…Mr. Blacksmith."_

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"Now, don't look at me like that, Swan, I've changed a lot since then and you bloody well know it…"

Emma realized she had hardened her stare at him and instantly shook her head. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just…" She huffed. "I remember what it was like, that first time. So many people died that day, how many didn't have to?"

He shrugged. "Like I said, I was disgusted by the massacre. That was one pretty nasty lady." He looked at Emma. "But then…"

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_He knew he could pull a decent rouse; he could fool just about anyone, he knew for a fact. _

_Why would anyone suspect a poor, handless smithy who had just survived a horrifying massacre? If anything, they'd take pity on him. That 'little lost boy' attitude plus the roguish charm would undo them all._

_Still, hiding beneath a smelly pile of bodies that had begun to decompose under the searing heat of the Enchanted Forest's summer sun was truly no fun._

"_Hey… Hey, look, there's someone under there!" Came an antsy cry._

_A female cry._

'_**Showtime**__', he thought as he shook his one hand precariously._

"_Please! Please help me!" He whined, tears in his eyes, desperately looking like a little boy whose parents had just been slain before his very eyes. "Don't hurt me! Please!"_

"_It's ok! It's ok!" Came a friendly reply as they all removed a rather sizeable fat man's body from the top. "We won't hurt you…"_

_He looked at the dark haired, pixie-cut lady kindly looking down on him with a grin as she grabbed his hand. '__**So this is Princess Snow White, is it? Not bad for an entrè**__ ', he thought, as he nodded, an almost completely believable look of sheer panic in his gaze. "Thank you…" He mumbled with a shaky voice as he squeezed her hand. "Thank you…."_

_Then he turned his gaze over his right shoulder._

'_**Oh… Bloody hell…**__'_

_Now this… this was not a woman, or a princess or anything even remotely mortal. This was an apparition… an angel. This had to be the savior._

"_Are you ok?" she nodded as she reached for his robe, pulling him up while he desperately tried to rip his dumbstruck gaze from her before he gave himself away._

"_I… I don't know, I… I think I am, yes…" he continued talking, avoiding all eye contact._

_Two more beauties tailed the princesses. One looked like yet another royal and the other much like a warrior. '**Tough lasses are hard nuts to crack, but fiercely appreciative of a man in bed, if he be brave enough to be up to the challenge of seduction**', he thought as he stood, his legs shaky and his eyes glazed with very fake but very tangible tears. He looked at them all in turns, the blonde one still being the one that captivated him the most. "I… is she gone?"_

"_Who?" The warrior girl asked._

"_Th… the lady Cora…" His voice cracked and an actual tear slid down his face. "She did this, she… oh, bloody hell, it was… horrible, I… I… "_

_The blonde girl stared at him with an awkward pout while the other three led him to a large wooden table._

"_It's ok, now. She's gone, it's only us." The third royal-looking lady smiled kindly at him. "You're safe. Do you have a name?"_

"_Aye… wi… William."_

_The Savior nodded. "Are you thirsty, William?"_

_He turned his face to her. It was going to be very hard not to give himself away before the overwhelming power this woman appeared to emanate out of every follicle. "I… I would like some… water, if you should have some."_

_Emma nodded and turned to her warrior friend. "Yeah, I could use a drink myself….Mulan, is there a well nearby?"_

"_Yes, there's a pump just behind the main shack."_

"_Ok. You and I get some water. Guys?" she looked at Snow and her other friend. "Stay with William, we'll be right back."_

_After a couple of agreeing nods, Killian saw how the blond beauty and the warrior left._

_Snow sat next to him with a grin. "Where do you come from, William?"_

_The man still looked desperately shaken. "Fr… from the south shores. Fisherman's Cove."_

"_Yeah, that is still part of my kingdom…" She nodded with a grin._

_Killian turned, with fake surprise. "A… are you a queen?"_

_Snow chuckled. "I would have been…" she grinned at him and shook her head. "No, William, I am only a princess…"_

"_My apologies, highness…" He bowed his head slightly._

"_Hey, weren't you engulfed by the Queen's Curse?" The other young woman asked. "There were few places that were untouched by it, but as far as I know, Fisherman's Cove was not one of them."_

"_I was on a ship." He swallowed. "We were headed further south for hangman's Island. My employer and I. there's a fresh and rather sizeable iron deposit. The Enchanted Forest had a terrible shortage and business was bad. The shockwave of the curse… it caused our ship to founder." He sighed. "It took me a few weeks of wandering through the remains of what had been the woodland to come upon this camp. I have remained here ever since." He shook his head and more tears escaped his eyes. "I lost my wife, Caroline… and my child, Lilly, on that shipwreck. That bloody curse…"_

'_**Damn, I'm good!**' he grinned internally after he got the desired looks of condolence from Snow and her friend._

"_So how long have you been here?" The other girl asked. _

"_Two, maybe three months. I know not for sure…" _

"_Did you lose your hand during the shipwreck?" Snow enquired._

_He shook his head with a grin. "Nay, highness. This was a smelting accident. When I was but an apprentice child."_

_The warrior and the savior returned and he hid his eyes beneath his fingers, as he rubbed his brow, desperately trying not to give himself away. This woman was completely undoing him._

_She placed a cup before him and Mulan poured water in it. "Here you go…" The blonde woman grinned._

_He took the cup and drank from it. "I can't thank you enough for your kindness… Fortune, it seems, has seen fit to show me favor."_

_She was oddly dressed, this savior, in an extremely small red leather jacket and trousers befitting of a male knight and not a princess heir to an enchanted forest throne… or at least not by this realm's fashion standards._

_She leaned both hands on the table and looked him square in the eye. "In an island full of corpses you were the only one to escape? How exactly did that happen?"_

_He looked at her, pulling his best frightened and distraught look. That wasn't too hard to do; the massacre had been quite disturbing, pirate or not. "Sh… she attacked at night." He started. "Slaughtered everyone in one fell swoop. When she started ripping out people's hearts I hid under the bodies of those who'd already been killed… I pretended to be dead myself." He finally turned away from her. Damn, this was hard. He then turned back to her and noticed the tears simply didn't seem to flow in front of her. He relied on his cracking voice. "Mercifully the rouse worked."_

_She eyed him harshly. "So much for fortune favoring the brave…"_

'_**Heartless beauty…'** He thought as he licked his lips._

"_It was the only thing I could do to survive." He pleaded._

_She leaned over to him and grinned a beautiful but alarmingly incriminating grin; his red flags started to unfurl in his head. _

"_I'm going to let you in on a little secret of mine; I am really good at knowing when someone is lying to me." She said in almost a whisper, sounding too kind and too cold… almost like Cora herself._

"_I… I am telling the truth." She whined._

_Another grin. Then she stood straight, still staring at him._

_His palm was clammy._

_Snow sighed and nodded, still impervious to the unfolding disaster that was about to happen. "We should look for another portal to Storybrooke. I only had about five minutes with my husband, not to mention my grandson."_

_Killian felt the scrutinizing gaze of the Savior on him as he turned with what he thought was a goody, naïve grin to the princess. "You… have a grandson?"_

"_Long story…" She shook her head._

_He turned a shy, smiling face to all of them. "Well, I know these lands well… I could guide y…"_

_The sudden feel of a sharp blade beneath his jaw cut him mid-sentence._

'_**Fuck**'_

"_You won't be guiding us anywhere, until you tell us who you are."_

_Mulan jumped immediately and tied him up by the wrists. He rolled his eyes down, visibly horrified. "A… are you women MAD?" He hollered, still sounding shaken._

_Snow gasped and looked at the savior. "Emma!"_

'_**Emma…**' He smiled to his insides._

_The savior looked at Snow. "He's not who he says he is?"_

_The other blonde tilted her head to the side. "How can you be sure?"_

_Emma sighed and rolled her eyes from him to the others and back to him as she removed the blade from under his jaw, much to his relief. "I just know. Come on… I can make this rooster sing…"_

_Snow shook her head. "Jesus, Emma, can't you see he's already shaken enough? Not everyone's out to get us!"_

"_With everyone dead, you think Cora would leave a loose end?" Emma shouted back. "You know Cora better than we do, Mary Margaret, and even I can tell something's not right here!"_

'_Wait… Mary Margaret? Is she not Princess snow?' he thought as he swallowed._

_Mulan nodded. "I agree with Emma. We can never be too sure. Aurora…" Mulan signaled to the third royal with her head, looking at an odd carry-on leather bag. "Pick that up. It's his. Maybe we can get some answers from there."_

_Aurora picked up a satchel he had dropped as he emerged from the corpses. "Not very heavy. You'd think a blacksmith would have at least a couple of tools…"_

_Emma side-grinned. "Precisely."_

_Killian swallowed, his face turning in despair from one girl to the other. "I swear it on the life of my mother, I am no more than a peasant, a blacksmith!"_

**'**_**Good think my mother is no longer amidst the living…**'_

_Emma pulled him up by the back of his robe. "Really? Well I have ways of making your mother sneer. Come on!" she pushed him in front of her. "Walk!"_

_Killian nearly stumbled to the ground. Tough lass! And beautiful, and resourceful and probably the only person of the female gender he'd ever met that didn't immediately fold before his charming face._

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"And then you tied me to a tree to become ogre fodder. Lovely." He grinned. "We both know the rest…"

She nodded. "You really did feel for all those people?"

Killian swallowed. "Aye. It was bad, bad form. I can't say I'm proud that I was a part for that particular game, Swan, but at least I cannot be held accountable for mass slaughter. I really was appalled, Cora was, at best, highly unpredictable, even more so than her darling daughter, and she was the Evil Bloody Queen, so go figure.""

"So you really meant it, when you said that we were far safer company."

Killian chuckled. "I meant every word I said, pretty much from that moment on."

Emma winced and shook her head. "Honest?"

"Aye. Honest."

"You really DID hope it would be me to climb up that beanstalk with you…"

He giggled. "For a moment I feared I'd have that warrior woman come along. She wound have, quite literally, been the death of me." He shrugged. "Any of you three would have been far better, but…" He gave her a gentle squeeze. "Yes, you were definitely my very first choice."

"You chose me."

"Aye. And I still do."

She smiled and closed her eyes with a giggle. "And I left you chained to the top of the beanstalk."

"You did."

She frowned. "Not the brightest moment of my life, I must admit. Lost a pretty god ally there, for a while."

He nodded. "Why did you, Swan? You had that little superpower of yours, you knew me to be true to my word, when I offered to follow you… I never really understood."

"I… guess I didn't want to have Gold's blood on my hands."

He huffed. "What nonsense, Emma. 'Accountability for the crocodile's life' rubbish is just that and nothing else. Why did you, really?"

She looked at him. "You seem to have a lie-detecting superpower all your own I see..."

He grinned. "Only with you, darling. I know you better than you know yourself, you know that."

"Ugh… fine…" she curled up against him again.

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H_e certainly was charming, it had to be said. Charming and handsome, with overwhelming sex appeal, too… and honest; An honest pirate. A man with whom it became painfully obvious from the very first second their eyes gazed into each other's soul that they had a strange but powerful connection._

_The scariest part? She liked him. A lot._

_Terrifying._

_"Emma, look at me…" He pleaded, his hand shackled to the wall. "Have I told you a lie? I brought you here… I risked my own safety to help you. The compass is in your hand, why do this to me now?"_

_It was actually kind of devastating. He was right. He hadn't told her a lie since they had agreed to travel together. The tone of his voice, pleading and broken, was a far cry from the fake show she had seen him put on at the camp, where even phoney tears hadn't been able to convey the fear and utter disappointment his eyes alone expressed now._

_And the look of hope, of joy in his eyes when he had said, "Let's go" as he held his hand out, was undeniably sincere._

_Too sincere… even caring._

_Caring and being cared for had been a recurring trap that had haunted her throughout what little romantic experience she had ever had._

_The man before her meant every word he said. And that alone was enough. She didn't need this, she didn't need to feel herself developing an unexplainable and stupidly absurd crush on a guy she'd met earlier that morning._

_She couldn't trust. Trust begets friendship, friendship begets affection, affection begets attraction and, God forbid, they altogether beget love._

_And love, at least in her experience, begot her a broken heart and a child in jail._

_She hated herself. She wanted him to come along… but fear is a powerful parasite, and a hard one to shake at that._

_"I… I can't risk being wrong about you…" She spoke, sounding disgustingly fragile. "I'm sorry…"_

_He frowned… and she could tell something was starting to break in the man's mind. "You're sorry… YOU'RE SORRY!" He shouted in despair. "I GOT YOU HERE AND I GOT YOU THE BLOODY COMPASS! Are you going to leave me here to die, then? To let that beast eat me, to crush my bones?"_

_"He's not a beast, and you are not going to die…" She responded shakily._

_'**Oh, god, please don't let him die here…**' she begged in silence within the confines of her mind._

"_Then, why…?"_

_"I just need a head start." She said back, unable to even make eye contact with him._

_She would never forget her heartache as she heard his screams follow her down the exitway. "SWAN! SWAN!"_

_She closed her eyes, and closed her heart._

_And swallowed a tear that quickly became __the planting seed of a love story in the making._

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Killian scratched his chin. "So, let me see if I got this right, Swan: You trusted me, you liked me, and you knew I was one to be taken into account for a possible mate and team partner and yet, you left me there precisely because I was all that?"

She pressed her lips together, still looking embarrassed. "I know, I'm terrible, I'm still feeling guilty about that. I know it makes no sense, but…"

Killian sighed. "…it makes complete sense, if you're coming from the place of a broken heart."

She sighed. "For what it's worth now… I am so, so sorry about that."

He giggled. "Just say you'll never do it again."

She laughed with him.

They once again fell into a short silence before she spoke again. "Well, for good measure, you did call me an old, pruny, dried up woman."

"No…" He grinned, clearing a strand of hair away with a finger. "I called that bean an old pruny, dried up thing, which was what I thought of the chance that I had harbored in my head about you, at the time…"

"Chance?"

He grinned and leaned his head back. "Maybe I've never told you this… But the few seconds, that very small instant before you placed the shackle on my wrist… I knew then I was already madly in love with you." He chuckled. "It's madness, I know. But there it is."

"Ugh, so I broke your heart."

"Did so repeatedly until you finally stopped running from me."

"I'm a terrible person."

"No. Scared and insecure, maybe, but not terrible."

"You did try to kill me though." She laughed.

"When did I ever do that?"

"Beat me to the ground and nearly "jabbed me with your sword"…"

Killian scratched the back of his ear. "Oh come off it, my love, I never intended to kill you to begin with, I liked you too bloody much. You didn't… really THINK I was talking about swashbuckling, now, did you Swan?"

She laughed a wicked laugh. "Really? It was a pretty obvious innuendo Killian, what with the whole phallic thing you did with your hook and my sword and that thing about preferring more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back, it was blatant."

"Glad you got the message."

"Message? You have some way of catching a girl's eye! You practically asked me to let you fuck the daylights out of me there and then!"

That got a laugh out of him. "Normally I'd reprimand you for foul language, Swan, but I have to say you sounded hilarious just now…"

She laughed with him and caressed his face with her ringed hand. "We've come a long way, haven't we, pirate?"

He grinned back at her. "Indeed, especially when I did get to jab you, my love, only instead of my sword I used my…"

She shut him up with a solid kiss, which they laughed through. "God, you're cheesy."

"It was a loving jab, love. It always is..."

Emma continued to laugh and talk through the kiss. "That's a hell of a lot more than a jab, Mr. Jones."

"What would you call it, Swan?" He whispered.

She bit her lip and spoke by his ear. "A full blade insertion..."

That made him laugh aloud. "Bloody hell, now look who's being cheesy!"


	8. Illness II

Illness Part 2.

Killian looked positively pallid that particular morning. He'd had an unexplained fever all night.

Emma looked deeply concerned as she removed the thermometer from his mouth. His eyes were closed and a fine layer of sweat shone on his jaunt face, pale and drawn. She looked at the thermometer and winced with a hiss. "Not good." She reached out and touched his forehead. "Jesus, you're burning up…"

He then started to shiver violently. "S… Swannnn…"

"Oh, boy…" She groaned, flustered and frustrated, not quite knowing what to do. "Come on, we're taking you to see Whale."

"No." He groaned through his teeth as they crashed together with each shiver. "I j…just need some c…company, love."

"Company my ass, you need some antibiotic."

"Anti-by-what?"

"Medicine. Besides, we need to figure out exactly what it is we're dealing with." She reached under his back and sat him up. "Come on, put your shoes on. I'll get your jacket."

He huffed and pouted. "But SWaaAAAaaaAAAnnnNNN!"

She smiled and shook her head. "Really? You think that whining like a five year old will effectively stop me from getting you to see Dr. Whale, are you serious?"

Killian frowned and sighed. "This is not the sickest I've ever been, Emma. No need to whimper and fuss. i'll be fine."

"But why be sick at all, when we have modern medicine, Killian? Don't forget, pirate: eighteenth century versus twenty-first century. No brainer." She reached for his scarf and wrapped it around his neck. "Come on, on your feet."

"Ugh, woman… Only because you insist." He huffed as he slipped is bare feet into a pair of loafers he usually wore at home. "Fine. Where's my hook?"

"Don't need it."

"Emma, you don't expect a man to leave without his hook!"

"Grow up, Jones, it's not like you'll be walking the streets naked!"

He grinned. "Wouldn't that be a sight you'd enjoy…"

She grinned back. "In here, perhaps… but NOT until I know that what you caught won't catch me!"

He nodded. The last thing he wanted or needed was to make her sick. He'd had enough with seeing her hospitalized under an oxygen tent.

"I'd still like to take my hook, if you please…"

Emma shook her head. "Fine…" she went into the bathroom and shouted. "You left it in the kitchen on top of the microwave."

So out the door they went, with Killian falling asleep half the way there

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"Influenza." Whale concluded, nodding. "Typical flu-bug, only kind of… on steroids."

Killian continued to shiver as he put his shirt back on. "Bug? I have a bug?"

"A virus…."

Killian had visions of his innards being eaten away by insects. He was positively terrified. He'd probably be dead before he even got to say 'I Do' and Emma would be left unwed and with an engagement ring to 'remind her never to love anyone again', if he knew her.

"How many days?"

"What?" Whale sneered as he reached into the cabinet for a syringe.

Killian swallowed. "My time. How long?"

Whale laughed aloud, turning to pull a little bottle out of another cabinet. "Come on, Captain, this won't kill you. You just need to remain indoors, use a surgical mask around your mouth, take your meds, drink a lot of fluids…" He turned a warning eye at him. "NOT rum. And just rest for a couple weeks." He sighed. "Won't be a walk in the park, and your fiancée and her son should definitely try to stay away from you as much as possible and when they can't they must also wear face masks…" He prepped the syringe with an eerie, reddish fluid. "Sleep a lot, Killian, eat healthy, drink a lot of orange juice and…"

"Wait, all this to kill a few insects?"

Whale sneered. "Insects? What insects?"

"You said I had a bug!"

The doctor laughed again. "Dude! A virus! A flu bug! Remember what I said to you about bacteria? This is something similar."

Killian sighed. "Oh…" He looked at the needle in Whale's hand. "And… just what is that?"

"Your first shot. Go on, turn around."

He had no idea how he was going to use that eerie looking, tiny little sword-like object, but he sensed it wouldn't be good. "Wait a minute, mate, what exactly will you be doing with that thing?"

Whale sighed. "Won't hurt a bit."

Killian raised a suspicious eyebrow way up and didn't turn. Whale narrowed his eyes.

"Aw come on… Captain Hook, cutthroat pirate, known terror of the seven seas, bravest buccaneer of the pirate world, fastest bladesman in the sea-fairing world… scared of a little pinprick?"

Killian side-grinned. "Depends where you intend to put that little pinprick, medic."

Whale grinned, ear-to-ear. "In your left butt cheek."

Killian laughed, thinking it was some sort of joke. But the giggles stifled when he saw that Whale stood there, holding the syringe, with the same shit-eating smirk on his face. "Wait, are you bloody serious?"

"You know… I could make you stay the night…" He shrugged. "Put the medicine in a serum drop and place you under a tent like Emma, if you'd rather…"

"No!" He spat, wide-eyed and held his good hand up. "It's fine. Just… get it over with." He gritted his teeth angrily as he turned around and reluctantly used the hook to pull down the left side of his sweat pants, a Christmas present from Snow and Charming.

Emma sat outside and winced when he heard Killian howl like a little kid.

But she grinned as well.

When he came out, his mouth was covered with a mask, but his eyes, lined with his trademark kohl, looked positively angered… and even a bit watery.

Nobody likes injections, Emma reasoned as she walked to him with a grin and a notoriously pitying "Awww", wrapping her arms around him.

Whale followed. "He's got Influenza. You know the drill. Be sure you and Henry wear surgery masks whenever you're around him, get some gel sanitizer…."

"He says we can't sleep together, love…"

"Yeah, there's that too." Whale nodded and shrugged, thinking that he had perhaps only seconds before he got a hook up his eye. "Only for this first week. And Emma, be sure to sanitize your apartment, wherever he's been, you need to run Lysol over the areas."

"Ok…" Emma nodded.

Whale turned to Killian. "Remember, Captain: No… rum! Lots of lemons, limes, oranges and stay away from drafty places, like windows." He turned back to Emma. "I gave him a shot of acetaminophen. That should ease the body aches and fever. It'll make him a little bit drowsy so, let him sleep. As of tonight, give him two 2oo mg. Advils every eight hours for five days and one Antiflu every twelve for a week. After that, just plenty of rest, plenty of water and still, NO… RUM." He turned to Emma again. "If there are any complications or if his fever gets any worse, bring him right away, all right?"

"Thanks Dr. Whale…" She looked at him and grinned. "Come on, you…" she put her hand through his arm.

"He put a needle in my arse…" He whined as he limped along. "Bloody hurts! And he then gave me a bloody stupid candy thingie… Like I was some sort of infant."

Emma giggled. "Let's face it… you're acting like an infant. Come on, let's go home and get you to bed."

He sighed and shook his head. "No, love, you heard the doctor. We need to sleep apart." He looed saddened. "You take the bed and I'll remain in the guest room for the duration of this bloody malady."

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By the time they reached the apartment, Killian was feeling the effect of the injection and the fever didn't help too much. The shivers had once again taken a hold of him and Emma quickly set the studio sofa bed out for him. She hated the thought of not sleeping beside him, but the last thing she needed after her terrible bout of TB four months earlier was to become sick again (she was actually still taking medicine for that).

By the time Killian lay his head down beneath the fresh, crisp blankets, his eyes were already closed. Emma placed a pitcher of water and a single glass on the bedside table, closed the window and drew the curtain slightly so he could get some sleep. She looked at him and sighed as she pulled the cover over his shoulder, gently caressing the black and messy bangs on his forehead to the side, and turned to leave.

"Emma…" Came the whimpering voice of the brave and convalescing captain Hook. She turned and found him staring at her through barely open eyes, bluer than blue and with cascades of long, black, curly lashes. God, his eyes were lovely…his everything was lovely! Even sick!

"Yeah?" She whispered, placing a hand by the doorframe.

"Did I ever tell you…" He grinned. "That when I was in Neverland, we saved Wendy Darling once?"

Emma frowned. "What?"

"Aye…" He gave a single nod. "We ambushed the lost boys. Pan had stolen our provisions and we wanted them back, so we went after his camp. We found them and well enough, they had Wendy Darling. Now I may be a pirate, but it's bad form to mistreat a lass, especially a young one. She was in a cage, like the one we found Neal in… and she was hanging atop a fire, love."

"No…" Emma returned into the room and sat at the foot of his bed.

"Aye. We couldn't let them torture her."

"Pan was doing that?" Emma asked, wide-eyed.

Killian coughed slightly. "No. Worse than Pan." His gaze blackened as he looked at her. "Ruffio."

"Ruffio?"

"He was Pan's right hand love, much like Felix, only worse. Ruffio was sociopathic, had no regard for life… he was the one torturing the lass."

"But why?"

He shrugged. "Why not?"

Emma sneered. "That's… terrible."

"Indeed it is, love, worst form of all. So, we attacked the camp, took the lass and our provisions and returned to the Jolly Roger." He swallowed. "Not proud of it now, but I personally saw to it that Ruffio died that night. We hung him in the cage and left him to simmer over the fire like he had intended to do on the young lady."

"God, Killian!"

"I know, it's not a good thing, love, I wish I hadn't." He looked contrite enough for her to believe him. "But still, what's done is done…"

Emma sighed and reached out to remove his hook and brace. "Why are you telling me this?" She rubbed his handless wrist before wrapping it under his sleeve and tucking it under the blanket.

"Because, in spite of it all, a pleasant memory arose from the midst of this woeful event…" He smirked.

She grinned. "Really?"

"Aye."

"Do tell…"

"It's rather simple a tale…" he shrugged. "Pan heard about what happened to Ruffio, so he cast a spell on the Jolly. Well, more like a plague on its crew. I lost eight good men due to it. All were stricken ill, myself included. I was the last to befall under the disease. It was awful, Swan: Fevers, retching, bleeding sores... But Miss Darling was sound of health, thank goodness. Apparently, it only struck the men. And there she was…" he smiled. "…Every morning, she'd heal the sores that came with the plague, wash them and bind them. All she had to help us all was saltwater and some kelp that a friendly mermaid had given her. She saw to my good health and sure enough, I was once again sound after a few moons. Alas…" he sighed. "Pan found her and took her back and there was nothing I or my crew could do. We thought her dead after that." He grinned. "It was nice to see her again, when we were in Neverland; blessed child, I owe her my life." He looked straight into Emma's eyes. "And she'd sing for me too, when I was delirious with fever. She'd sing a song from her country, a song named Scarborough Fair. Beautifully soothing. Or she'd tell me stories. I tell you now Swan, if ever I had had a female child, I'd wish with every fiber of my soul that she be like that young lady."

Emma was unable to hold back the smile on her face; she immediately went back to that part of the Disney film where Wendy sings to the lost boys about the meaning of being a mother and how the eavesdropping pirates are all moved to tears by the sound of her voice.

There seemed to be at least one bit of truth to that as well.

"So, you never went back to find her?" Emma sighed.

"No…" He shook his head. "Pan brought back her gown to me, drenched in blood. 'A life, for a life, Captain', he said." He swallowed and Emma saw how thick the knot in his throat was by the bobbing of his Adam's Apple. "There's few times I can honestly say I've wept for a loss, darling. The first was my sister, the next was my brother… then Milah, then Bae…" He sighed. "And finally, young Wendy. I would have raised her as my child, Emma."

Emma grinned and rubbed her hand on his chest. "Well, she's alive and well now and back home in England with her brothers."

"Is that really far away, love? This… England?"

She smiled. "Yep. We'd have to fly there."

He cringed at the thought, but nodded. "I'd bloody well do it. If only to thank Miss Darling…"

Adorable idiot. Emma couldn't love him more if she tried.

"Have you ever… cared for the sick, Swan?" He spoke, nearly asleep.

Emma grinned sadly. "Yes… and no."

Killian chuckled. "You're not making any sense, darling."

"Well, my mind thought I had. But it wasn't real." She sighed. "It was part of the memories Regina implanted in my mind about Henry and I."

Killian's eyes shot open suddenly. "I'm sorry, love. Didn't mean to stir up any sorrow…"

"You didn't." she smiled. "I can still tell you about it. Felt real as hell."

Killian sighed and smiled at her. "I love a good story, Emma."

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"_Here you go, young sir!" the doctor handed three-year-old Henry a large caramel lollipop. As the boy sniveled and started to focus his attention on removing the cellophane wrap from the typically mint and candy red lolly, the doctor turned to Emma. "Ok, Mrs. Swan, the boy…"_

"_Miss… Swan." She smiled_

"_Miss Swan, sorry." the doctor smiled back. "The boy definitely has chicken pox. Probably got it from school, which means a bunch of kids are probably coming down with it. Have you ever had it?"_

"_Yep." She side-grinned sarcastically. "Try living in an orphanage…"_

"_Well, that's good, it means you're not exposed. All the same, be sure to wash your hands frequently and to keep him from scratching the lesions." He wrote a prescription. "Here's some antiviral and you might want to get some calamine lotion. Your couches and blankets will be pink for days, but it will definitely bring down the itching. As for the fever, I'm prescribing some Ibuprofen suppositories. Once a day only. And I'm afraid he'll have to lose school time, maybe for as long as a month."_

"_Really?" She sneered._

"_Standard procedure."_

_She huffed. "Ok. Thanks Dr. Wolfe."_

"_No problem at all." He turned a friendly face to Henry. "And you, stay out of trouble, young man! Take care of your mom!"_

_Henry turned to the doctor; his face freckled with little red lesions and his lips already sticky from the candy. "Ok…" He nodded before tucking back in as Emma picked him up and walked out of the doctor's office, with Henry waving goodbye over his mom's shoulder. _

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Emma grinned. "I have memories, pristine memories, of taking care of him for the month he was supposedly ill… Me talking to the pre-school teacher about the situation, rubbing calamine on his body… hell, I have no idea what Henry looked like as a younger kid, except… in those memories."

Killian sighed and hated himself for not being able to hold her hard.

"Well, you do have him now…"

"Yeah… I do now." She smiled. "And while the memories may not be real, I can say I do know how to be Florence Nightingale to those I love…"

He pouted playfully. "Would that include me?"

She smiled and bit her lower lip, looking into his eyes. "Damn right it would. You daffy sailor..."

He reached out and grabbed her hand with his own. It felt strange to feel his caress without any rings on it, as he stroked her palm with his thumb. "You know love…" He grinned. "I don 't want to get ahead of myself and even less do I want you to fly into panic for what I'm about to say, but I would really, really love for us to have a wee lass together."

Emma smiled. "I'd never call her Wendy, though."

Killian chuckled. "We'd think of something equally lovely…" He yawned hard. "I might need a little kip now, love." He squeezed her hand. "Thank you for sharing that lovely story… I'm sure you'll make a fine, loving mother to our own babes someday…" He grinned before simply drifting off into in instant, deep sleep.

Emma continued to stare at him and was shocked that she hadn't withdrawn her hand from his after he had so blatantly declared that he was yearning to have a female baby with her. They were engaged, for sure, but that was not even in her plans yet. But even more shocking to her was to find herself pondering what their little girl would look like; Dark-haired like him, most likely.

And hopefully, his eyes too.

She'd be a ravishing beauty, that was for sure. And suddenly, the thought wasn't so scary any more.

She sighed and stood up, kissed his forehead and ran her hand down the side of his head. "I love you. Silly Pirate…" she whispered with a grin, before standing up to make some soup for him.

She also made a phone call to London.

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Killian had been steadily improving; but he had taken twice as long as predicted. He'd had a relapse that had almost landed him in the hospital when his fever spiked up to the point where he'd asked Emma to open the window to allow for all the "_blasted bats to fly back to the seventh hell they belonged in_". That was enough for her to be profoundly concerned. Not to mention that his breathing had gotten terribly erratic, the pain in his chest was unbearable and the shivers became hard to control.

He came within an inch of experiencing Emma's oxygen tent at the hospital. And, Killian could have sworn, amidst his deepest delirium phase, that there was not one, but two blonde beauties caring for him. There was also Whale…somewhere.

But thankfully, one morning, the fever had receded.

He opened his eyes and looked around. The window was now open and the wind blew a fresh breeze in; Whale had finally allowed for fresh air to circulate since he was out of danger. It was refreshing and soothing and cool.

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_"The fever's not dropping, Emma…"_

_"I really don't want him to go to the Hospital, he'll kill me if he wakes there!"_

_"He may not have a choice! WE may not have a choice, look at him!"_

_"Killian?"_

_"Swan, get those bloody bats out of here!"_

_"Baby, there are no bats in.."_

_"Noo, don't let them get near me!"_

_"Emma, please!"_

_"There must be something we can do!"_

_"Ice! You have ice?"_

_"Yeah! Henry!?"_

_"Yeah, mom?"_

_"Get some towels and some ice and a little water in a bowl, quick…"_

_"Emma, don't let the lad in! Don't! The bats!"_

_"We will make you well, Captain, be still… Shhh…."_

_"Killian, calm down!"_

_"Emma, he is terrified."_

_"He's seeing bats! What do you expect?"_

_"Oh, this might help. Can you sing?"_

_"Here, mom!"_

_"Ok, soak the towels in there!"_

_"Can you sing, Emma?"_

_"She couldn't sing her way out of a paper back if she had a GPS!"_

_"Emmaaaaa! Help meee!"_

_"Shhh ok, ok, I'm here, sweetie, it's fine… HENRY!"_

_"Ok here!"_

_"This won't feel good, Killian, but I swear it'll make the bats go away, ok?"_

_"FUCKING HELL EMMAAAA!"_

_"It's fine, Captain, it's ok!"_

_"Swan…"_

_"Mom, will he be ok?"_

_"Take my hand, Captain… that's it."_

_"Killian, shh… shhh…"_

**_"Are you going to Scarborough Fair?_**

**_Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme._**

**_Remember me to one who is there,_**

**_She once was a true love of mine._**

**_Have her make me a cambric shirt_**

**_Parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme._**

**_Without no seams, nor fine needle work._**

_**Then she'll be a true love of mine.**"_

"Wait…. What?"

_"Look, mom… he's sleeping."_

_"Oh, thank goodness! You see, Emma?"_

_"What the hell! What did you do?"_

_"He always did like to be sung to. Especially this song."_

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"Hey you!" Emma went into the room with a smile.

Killian returned the grin- "Swan… How long did I sleep for?"

"Day straight. We were about to take you to the hospital."

He frowned. "That would hardly be necessary, darling. I'm right as rain… well, almost."

Emma grinned and sat beside him. "And the bats?"

"Bats?" He chuckled. "Emma, love, you've just about lost it…"

Just then, a vision appeared; she looked older, maybe seventeen or eighteen, a few years older than when he had last seen her aboard the Jolly Roger.

"M… Miss Darling?" He sat up.

The girl smiled. "Captain!" she walked to him and reached out for a hug. "I am so happy and so glad you feel better!"

Killian's eyes watered as he reached around her. "How..?"

"Your fiancee called for me, told me you were really ill and that apparently, I have a way of healing sick pirates!" she chuckled. "Scarborough Fair still works like a charm."

Killian pulled away and smiled. "So… I was not dreaming…"

She shook her head. "No. You still zonk down like a little child with that one."

Killian turned to Emma and a shaky smile adorned his face. "Did you call her over, Swan? You did that for me?"

"yep." She grinned and squeezed his hand. "And in the nick of time, too."

Killian's eyes shone and finally a single tear found its way down his cheek. "You are too much for me, love…"

Emma smiled back. "Yeah, that I am, but I'll settle for you." She reached for him and held him. "After all you've done for me, both when I was sick and when you traded the ship, it seems like it was the right thing to do."

He cupped her face in his hand and grinned. "I love you."

That got him a grin from Emma.

Henry came in through the door. "Hey, Killian!"

"Hello, m'boy!"

"Feel better?"

"Almost as good as new now, lad. Thank you so much for asking…"

Wendy turned to look at Henry with a huge smile. "Oh, you were such a great help yourself, Henry!" She reached out and grabbed the boy's hand. "Thank you for your assistance."

The boy flushed and shrugged. "Well I… I…" He shuffled his foot. "I guess I did. No problem."

Emma and Killian exchanged a knowing look.

Later that day, Killian begged Wendy to bring her brothers for his wedding and was adamant that she'd sing Scarborough Fair during the service.

The girl accepted.

And the one handed Captain of the Jolly Roger never loved the Savior Sheriff of Storybrooke more than he did the day she brought his almost-daughter back into his life.


	9. The Holiday, Part 1

The holiday

Part 1

With all that they had both been through, Killian and Emma relished in their moments of solitude. Well, mutually shared solitude, actually. While both were quite adept at being alone, it didn't necessarily mean they wanted to continue turning their backs to the chance of not being entirely alone.

Two is better company than one, especially when each has been through the mill and back.

Since Killian had been exempted from Pan's curse in his pursuit of Emma, he and Swan often were able to enjoy getting away from Storybrooke. But his idea of a getaway always included a view of the ocean. They were only five weeks away from their wedding and both were in dire need of a break.

Planning a wedding was certainly no picnic.

Emma managed to find an awesome five-day, four-night all-inclusive package to Cancun, in Mexico. Regina managed to conjure up a decent-looking passport for the pirate and all was set for him to venture out of both the town and the country. The time had come to show Killian that there was far more to this realm than just Storybrooke… and time had also come for him to conquer the air.

She drove the little yellow bug to Portland and pensioned it for five days, and they were set to fly from there to the little international airport south of the border.

From the get go, it was obvious that the pirate was struggling not to appear weak before Emma, but she could tell that his ear-to-ear, tight-lipped grins were a clear indication that he would quite likely suffer through the flight much like anyone would suffer a tooth extraction.

Maybe more.

"Swan… what the bloody hell…" He fiddled with the clasp beneath his seat.

"Seat belts." She grinned. "Look…" She pulled the buckle and clamp, snapped them together and gave the strap a gentle tug before letting them rest on the Captain's lap. "There. All buckled up."

Killian swallowed hard. "So, in the event of us falling thousands of leagues into a fiery death, this should spare our lives then…" He chuckled. "Wonderful."

She rolled her eyes. "Leagues are not used to measure distance in the air, buddy. And no, we won't fall…"

"What makes you so sure?" He turned, blinking multiply and with another nervous Cheshire cat grin that hid none of his nervousness. "This bloody flying contraption probably holds more weight to it than the Jolly Roger, tenfold."

"Ugh…" She shook her head. "Look, just try to enjoy it and…"

"Enjoy it… Swan?" He nodded. "I've flown before. The Jolly was quite capable of doing so, if you recall. But I trust magic to sustain a vessel in the air much more than I trust this realm's fickle technological know-how…"

Emma sighed hard. "Ok, you know what? Here…" She placed a magazine on top of his lap. "Keep yourself busy, Hook. It's only five hours."

"Five hours?" He huffed. "The Jolly would take us in twenty min…"

"The Jolly is back in the Enchanted Forest! Wanna open that whole can of worms again?"

Touché.

He huffed and opened the magazine, not really reading a damn thing. The plane suddenly shuddered and the pirate reached for his arm rests, almost breaking the little wooden hand on his left arm. "Bloody hell! It moves!" He whispered.

Emma snapped her head at him. "We're just moving down the runway! Will you just chill?"

Killian looked around him sheepishly before releasing the arm rests and picking up the magazine. Emma saw from the corner of her eye that his hands, both real and artificial, were actually shaking.

No denying it: The man was freaking out.

As the plane cruised through on it's way to the takeoff point, Killian flicked though the pages loudly. Emma turned, annoyed, and was about to say something when she noticed a single drop of sweat trickling down his temple. He had a habit of tonguing through his teeth and licking his lips, only now he was doing it like there would be no tomorrow. The magazine in his hand was shaking and it was clearly visible that his breathing had increased considerably, even if his eyes seemed to be meticulously caught in the contents of the magazine… alas, he was holding it upside down.

Emma grinned and reached out for the magazine, closed it and turned his face to her with her hand, cupping his jaw. "Hey…" She spoke softly with a smile. "It's ok…"

"Who said otherwise?" He grinned again.

"Killian, you're on the brink of shitting your pants."

"A gentleman would do no such thing, Swan." He frowned. "And a lady, a princess no less, has no business making such a crude and crass remark."

Emma chuckled and leaned against his shoulder. "Ok, look at it this way: If we go down, we go down together."

The captain sighed and tried to regain a little bit of composure. "Is it really that obvious?" He whispered after looking around him.

"Baby…" She reached and grabbed his hand. "This is the clammiest, soggiest hand I've ever held. If that's not a dead giveaway that you're shi… that you're terrified…"

"I am not terrified, my love, I am uneasy. There is a difference."

"Hook, you look terrified." She grinned daringly.

Killian rolled his eyes, huffed and turned to her. "Listen here, woman… A man who has crossed realms, seen and battled with krakens and mermaids, fought with entire pirate crews and seen the extent of Peter Pan's evil magic, has absolutely no quaffs with being bolted to a seat in a flying machine where hundreds of other people are also awaiting to fl…" Just then, the engines blasted their takeoff mode and sped suddenly down the track.

Killian not only sat back; he pressed himself hard to the seat, his hand once again clasped to the arm rest, eyes wide and teeth very visibly shivering.

Then the plane finally took off. His stomach dropped dangerously down into one of his legs.

"SEVEN BLEEDING HELLS!"

Emma tried to hush him, but was unable to keep his nervousness at a decently controllable level. "Swan! SWAN! We're in the bloody air! I can't…"

"Shhh!" She tired to silence him. "Killian…"

"Gods! Gods! Emma!" he turned to her, hyperventilating and damn near teary eyed. "I love you, Swan, always have, always will!"

"Hey we're ok!"

"No we're bloody not!" He replied loudly.

"Ma'am, is there a problem?" an airhostess approached them.

The look on Killian's face reminded Emma of the expression he had the day she met him, under a stack of corpses, begging to have his life spared. Except this was no fake situation.

"Sir?"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA BLOODY DIE, AREN'T WE?" He hyperventilated.

The people had begun to murmur and whisper to each other.

"Sir, we're ok, we're…"

"SWAN!"

"Listen…" Emma turned to the hostess. "I know it's early for this, but… " She wrinkled her nose, leaning over her panicky boyfriend. "You think you could… facilitate me with a bottle of rum? A large one? Any rum."

"That will have a cost, ma'am, and you'll have to wait until…"

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I CAN BLOODY WAIT?" Killian screeched.

The woman stood straight. "Sir I'm afraid that we have policies regarding passenger behavior and…"

Emma cut in. "No, no, come on!" she begged. "Cut him some slack, it's his first time on a plane and he's scared out of his mind, please, just get me the rum, and I'll know what to do, ok?"

The lady smiled and Killian tried his best to deliver a begging grin. The plane wobbled and he gasped, closing his eyes and the knuckles in his hand whiter than the paper of the magazine on his lap.

"P… please…" He begged, his blue eyes almost watering.

The air hostess drew a deep sigh and shook her head. "I'll be back in a minute. Try to keep the noise down though, sir, you're alarming the other passengers…"

"A… apologies, lass…"

Emma held on to Killian's hand. "Come on, the chances of having an accident while riding an airplane are roughly one hundred thousand to one, Captain. You flew in the Jolly Roger! Where's that dread pirate pluck of yours?" She rubbed his hand. "Where did it go?"

"It sank." He swallowed hard, the plane still rising and his blood pressure still dropping.

"Sank?"

"Aye… with the corpse of my late brother."

Killian turned to her, eyes huge and pleading, and Emma swore that this was definitely the very first time she'd seen him look flat out terrified… and indescribably sad.

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_Swept by the spell of the Pegasus Sail, the Jewel of the realm flew through the air, cutting through clouds like sunlight reaping through the air._

_Killian Jones swiftly ran below deck to meet his brother in the Captain's quarters. Liam stood before a mirror after having risen from a nap. He took a single look as his young brother and chuckled. "Still queasy?"_

"_I've got sea legs." The young man replied. "Not wings." He then paused before looking back up. "How are you feeling, brother?" An eager, bright-eyed and happily naïve Lieutenant Jones asked his captain and older brother._

_Captain Jones fixed his shirt lapel before the tiny mirror. "Ship shape!" He smiled. "Like I'd never had the blasted venom in my veins at all. Matter of fact, I don't believe ever felt younger."_

_The Lieutenant grinned a relieved grin at his brother._

_Liam Jones sighed before turning, full face, to his younger brother. "Forgive me, Killian. I should have listened to you."_

"_Oh never mind." Killian shrugged back with a grin._

"_But I do, brother." Liam nodded. "You have always had that gut instinct I lack. I was too bloody proud and I nearly paid for it with my life." He paced towards his brother. "You shall make one fine captain, one day."_

_Killian laughed softly. "Not while you live." He shrugged. "I'm quite content under your tutelage…"_

_Liam laughed and grabbed his younger brother by the shoulders. "You know what? You are ready." Killian smiled and Liam gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder, turning back around to reach for his jacket. "As soon as we reach safe harbor and the vessel has once again touched a familiar shore, I shall direct myself to the admiralty…" He turned to Killian with a grin. "…and fully recommend to them that Lieutenant Killian Jones is ready to be promoted in rank… to Captain of his own ship."_

_Killian frowned and then a huge smile crossed his face from ear to ear. "Do you really believe I…?"_

"_Certainly. You command respect, brother, the sailors look up to you, and you're fair, honorable, clever and terribly resourceful. Your navigating skills are outstanding, you're the academy's prime pupil and no one I know can navigate the stars quite like you can. Not to mention…" He sighed. "You'd go out of your way to save those you love; kindness of the heart, brother, is not a common asset." Liam nodded. "You called on our king's cowardice while I was blinded by heedless and nonsensical loyalty to a man who would use poison on our enemies. Fighting battles with unholy weapons is, as you say, bad form."_

"_Hey…" Killian paced to him and helped him adjust the lapel of his jacket straight, dusting his ranked shoulder pads. "I will follow you… to the ends of the earth, brother."_

_Liam grinned and placed his hand on his younger brother's arm. "You would, too. But no need, brother. You're your own man now. You'll likely get your own vessel and shall make the kingdom and the realm proud. The people will side with you and I, brother, you shall see, and so shall the armed forces. And I trust… you'll be one hell of a captain."_

_Killian smiled back and grabbed on to his brother's arm._

"_All hands brace for landing!" Came the voice from the deck._

_Both Killian and Liam felt their stomachs jump up into their heads as the ship descended onto the waters of their realm, Neverland now a distant and terrible memory. They felt the waters crash to against the keel and the whole clipper bobbed and wobbled as it steadied itself on the ocean._

_Nobody was happier than Killian Jones to feel water beneath him again._

"_Home!" Liam smiled. "We made it, little brother!"_

"_YOUNGER brother." Killian rolled his eyes. _

_Liam laughed heartily as Killian walked to the windows of the cabin, beholding the view._

_How he loved the sea! Imposing, strong, powerful, and yet tender and soothing. The sun shone down on the ripples of the waves, regaling the sight with flickering silvers and golds. The day was serene, the waters appeased and nothing, not a damn thing, could ever go wrong during a magnificent day like this. The view made his heart soar and he was unable to contain a full smile and a soft chuckle. Yes… he was home._

"_What do you say, Liam?" Killian quipped, his eyes bright with hope and joy. "Do you want some company when you report to the admiralty?"_

_He turned his smiling face to his brother… to find him slowly bending forward, pain etched on his face, gasping for breath and looking with terrified blue eyes back at him. Killian frowned, his smile dissolved into a concerned grimace. "Liam?"_

_He ran to his brother's side just as Liam's body collapsed to the floor. "LIAM!"_

_The captain reached out and placed his open hand on his younger brother's cheek. "B… brother…"_

"_No, nononono, NO!" Killian held him, his eyes fixed on his brother's face. That was when he was suddenly aware of the blackening that stemmed from Liam's neck, rapidly spreading into his face. Liam started to cough out a black, sticky sap out both lips and nose and he convulsed before suddenly stopping. His eyes fixed on the ceiling and his hand slowly slid down to the floor as he exhaled a dying breath._

"_NO! No, no, no! HELP!" Killian shouted. "HELP! Please!" He turned to look at his brother, now lifeless. "Liam… Liam, come back… Liam…" He wept, leaning his head back onto the wall behind him. "Brother…"_

_After he was pronounced dead by the crew's medic, it took the sailor's two hours to get the Lieutenant to let go of his brother's body… and another hour to sew up his body for a dignified sea burial. _

_From that day, and for many years to come, the mere thought to flying again brought a nauseating feeling to his gut._

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"It was Liam's thing, flying…. Not mine." He shook his head, still containing his breath. "I was thrilled, the first time the Pegasus was deployed, seeing as to how a vessel the size of the Jolly Ro… The Jewel of the Realm, could fly through the air the way it did. Had I but known…" he turned to Emma, saddened but calmer. "Tis not the first time I'm in the air love… But this enclosed capsule, no air… I can't but avoid remembering the cabin, my brother…"

Emma eyed his entire face, studying him inch by inch. "And you're doing this for me?"

"And I did it for you when we returned from Neverland, love." He nodded. "And I'll do it any time you ask it of me…. But please do not ask me to enjoy it. I can't. I don't think I ever will…"

Emma took his ringed hand to her lips. "I don't deserve you…"

He turned sharply to her a nodded. "Aye, you don't." As she was gasping in horror, he grinned. "You deserve so much more… and that's saying a lot, Swan, considering I'm arguably the handsomest man in Storybrooke and the most dashing and debonair Pirate to ever hoist a sa…"

She cut him short with a kiss. "Shut up."

The hostess arrived with the bottle. "This is all we had." She sighed, handing them a flask, by any standard bigger than the tiny alcohol caplets they usually used in flights, but still not really a full bottle. "It's not a really big bottle, but…"

"It'll do nicely, love…" Killian took it from her with a smile and a wink. "You've been of great assistance."

"Yeah, you have." Emma handed her her credit card with a grin. "Take your tip from here too."

As the airhostess left to make her charge, Killian opened the bottle and sedated his anxiety with a large gulp of the sultry, spicy liquor. He then turned to Emma and handed her the bottle, and she too took a single swig before returning the bottle to her fiancée.

He turned to look at her, and while he still looked a tad nervous, he delivered the first honest grin in hours. "Whatever would I do without you, Swan?"

She shrugged. "You'd be hell-bent on kicking Gold's ass, I suppose."

He chuckled and bit his lip as he looked down at the flask on his lap. "Aye, that's a possibility."

She smiled at him and rubbed his arm. "I'm so sorry…"

"For what, my love?" He turned to her, with a sad sigh.

She shrugged. "We're both so… broken. But all this time, you kept on trying so hard to make me believe nothing got by your defenses, nothing could hurt the powerful, mighty Captain Hook… Just so you could be there for me." she shook her head. "I was so busy focusing on my own issues, my own walls, my own pathetic memories… to even begin to realize you had so much hurt still…"

He shrugged and sighed. "Aye, well… I'm still only human." He looked at her with a warning eye. "You don't tell your father a single solitary thing…"

Emma chuckled, and wrapped her arm underneath his, leaning on his shoulder. "Nope. It stays between us."

Killian grinned and sighed deep. "I thank you, love… for listening. I don't believe anyone ever has."

"We all need a shoulder to cry on." She winked at him. "And I got two."

He smiled fully. "Good to know, that."

He leaned in for a kiss.

The plane shuddered and Killian jolted.

"_Ladies and Gentleman, this is Captain Andrew Williams, we kindly ask you to remain in your seats and place your seat belts on, we will be flying through a small patch of turbulence, place place your seats in an upward position and lock your dinner trays. Thank you."_

Killian continued to sweat, hyperventilate and swallow repeatedly; and for every bump and unsteady jostle of the craft, he took in a large gulp of rum. Soon enough, he was asleep and Emma finally managed to read a magazine and listen to some music for the remainder of the trip. But she was stunned to find that, when she turned to look at him, he was leaning his head against the window, snoring softly, with a tiny, pristine grin on his lips.

She smiled. "You are such an old woman…" she caressed the hair over his right ear. "But god, I love you."

Killian grinned a little more before settling back down. He knew that if the plane were indeed to go down, there would be no person in the entire world and every other realm that he'd rather die next to.

And Emma felt the same way, too.

She then made a final decision: No flying for their Honeymoon. A cruise suddenly seemed far more appealing.


End file.
